WTH?

So I opened up my Facebook, and because I'm friends with the Crooked Creek Mud Bog, their pictures show up on my feed. They had a mud bog over the weekend. Apparently this vehicle was participating...I can honestly say...I've never seen a PT Cruiser jacked up. WTH? Too funny :) I love it.

Indescribable luck

As I sit here in a pit of self-loathing because I ate some super greasy chicken strips from the Crack Shack for lunch (seriously, I do believe my esophagus is attempting to come alive just to slap me in the face) I can't help but chuckle about last weekend...

I'm going to tell y'all a little bit of a backstory to get to the story that I want to tell you about...

Last weekend was my friend, Krystle's, 25th birthday. You know we had to do something special. Though I didn't get to put as much planning into it as I'd hoped, and though it didn't go as I had originally planned, we had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. The plan was to go to Carrabbas for dinner with the group, then a few of us would go to a movie afterwards. Well, a string of crazy events took place, so our group decreased as the last week drug on.

We got all gussied up and went to Carrabbas for dinner and had a great time. Good friends, good food, good times...(and a key lime trifle that, if I do say so myself, was delicious). We went to see Country Strong afterwards. As I was walking up the ramp to go in the movie theater, I rolled my foot and about busted my butt (the irony is...I was no longer in my heels...but my flip flops). My foot hurt, but I didn't think it was too bad. This movie wasn't one that I was busting at the seams to go see...but actually it wound up being a VERY good movie. A little sad, but very good. I went home that night, after KW's big birthday adventure, and climbed into bed...utterly exhausted.

The next morning, I woke up with my foot throbbing. I nearly cried as I tried to put pressure on it to get out of bed. It took me about 5 minutes to get to my mom's room, which was right next to mine. I begged her to take me to the Emergency Medical place in Gainesville. She agreed...

As my family has their priorities in order (as always), we had to drive to (outside of) Williston to get horse feed first. All the while, my foot throbbing. But now I'm so, so glad we did. I saw something that you just don't see everyday...especially in Williston...

I saw a black tranny in a dress and faux fur coat doing jumping jacks in the parking lot of a jiffy store.

I about rolled. Hilarious.

To finish this story, I found out that I had "sprained my foot." It's better now. It hasn't really hurt me much since Tuesday. However, if ever you have something happen to your foot/ankle, I pray that you know how to use crutches already. I had the nurse laugh at me trying to hobble-crutch myself out of the doctor's office. The compassion overfloweth. ha.

Nearing the end of 2010...

In 2010…

My mama fought breast cancer and had to go through Chemo treatments.

I sought out other employment…only to realize that the other prospect was full of lunatics…and decided that I was more than happy to stay at the Journal.

I’ve continued to be a nut magnet and have met a’many a’one this year.

I made a “bucket list” so-to-speak.

I was able to go on 2 vacations to the Panhandle, where I met new friends, and got to experience new towns, new restaurants, new people, new things.

I’ve lost someone that I dearly loved.

I became an even bigger fan of Mrs. Paula Deen.

We were blessed with “the” Karter Lee.

I became an expert at making pillowcase dresses.

I was accepted into FSU.

We had what will forever be known as the "December Watsonville Mailbox Hate Crimes"

Things I’ve learned:

Sometimes it’s better to let someone hit rock bottom and face the consequences rather than constantly bailing them out and them never learning.

When a friend is hurting, the best thing you can do for them is to hug them and let them know that you’re there for them. It makes it easier when they know that they aren’t alone…but no matter how much you may want to, you can’t help heal the pain that they’re experiencing.

Random little fact: Acid is the only drug not detectable on a drug test. (via a friend from Carrabelle)

Along that same line: If you are pulled over and the officer suspects you’ve been drinking…if you refuse a breathilizer, you will be charged with “refusal” as opposed to “DUI.” You will still lose your license for a year…but the charge will be different.—This I learned after questioning the GCSO. A special thank you to the officers that put that Journal dispute to rest.

Joe Mama’s pizza is the best in Florida.

Sometimes it can actually hurt when someone tells you that they love you.

My mama’s driving CAN actually worsen.

When faced with boredom, and armed with a brick, citrine, and a boulder…local teenagers can be creative when beating down your mailbox three nights in a row.

It's hard to take a person that's yelling at you seriously when he isn't wearing his teeth.

No matter what happens…I still have white coat syndrome.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

That some people are destined to have crazy things happen to them….I have been blessed to be one of those people.

Old people can still rock out.

The Japanese are a very focused group of people (according to a customer).

“Men are like chocolates…Avoid the nutty ones, and if one has been tested and put back…leave it alone.”

Favorites of 2010:

Favorite Movie: Eat Pray Love

Favorite TV Show: How I met your Mother

Favorite Song: So, so many…but I’d have to say “Love the way you lie” by Eminem/Rhiannna

Favorite Book: (reading it now) “It ain’t all about the cookin’” –Paula Deen’s memoirs.

Favorite Quote: “Shawty. You’s my peep. You prolly gonna be there after my incarceration.”—The Cynthia Kay Ebonics lesson :)

Karter Lee, Black Friday, and Pillowcase dresses

So, guys…I’ve been busy. Real busy lately. Between crazy dogs, plans for indestructible mailboxes, shopping, and pillowcase dresses I have been busy!

First things first…I must inform y’all of what my dog, Karter Lee, did recently. Now, bless her heart, she’s a bit of a spaz. She really has good reason to be, though. Before we got her, she had been dumped. A person actually saw the people dump her and drive off. She ran after them :(. But after a call to my Daddy, we decided to give her a good home. It really was a blessing, because little did we know, in a few short weeks we would find out that Kenzie Mae had cancer and would need to be put down. But, when we got her, she had been shot with a pellet gun twice, and still had one of the pellets lodged in her. She’s terrified of thunderstorms because after she had been dumped she spent a few days just wandering around in the area (it was around the time that we had a lot of rain…maybe it was like a tropical depression…? I can’t remember). Despite all of the horrible treatment that she had gotten before, we have shown her all the love we could possibly give to her….and she is spoiled rotten. She can’t wait for Friday to roll around b/c she knows Dad will ride her on the Gator all weekend. And Sunday nights, she gets all depressed b/c she knows it’s the end of her weekend. (I swear, she knows the days of the week). So, that is my dear Karter Lee’s back story.

Now, one thing about Karter Lee and Sassy is they LOVE Cheese-its. They can hear us open the box and they will be in the kitchen in a heartbeat. I’m thinking this love of cheese-its had something to do with what happened the other day.

We woke up the other morning to find this in the hallway. (The scene of the crime)...
I had unfortunately left my grocery bag on our kitchen floor the night before. It contained my package of bagels and the box of cheese-its.

We’re thinking that (again on a Monday morning) when dad left for work, she started spazzing. She found the bag and wanted to get into the cheese-it box. –her being the emotional eater…hehehe—However, my bagels were much easier to break into. She ate four. FOUR WHOLE BAGELS. Lol. I guess she stopped when she got full.

Here’s the culprit. At least she looks like she's thinking about what she did...lol.

Oh, and I will also post a picture of the loot that I scored on Black Friday. :) Nearly $300 later, I have pretty much everything that I need for the kids I was buying for this year.

Now…onto my house full of pillowcase dresses. I have made a total of fourteen over the past three weeks. Here is my “collection.” A few are missing: one is below and two were given as birthday presents.

I’ve even made some little boy pants. How cute are these little camo pants??

I love all my dresses…but if I were to give a “Best in Show,” it would have to be my latest one. I LOVE the cream-colored eyelet fabric on the bottom. I do believe this will look precious on the little girl it’s going to.

“All I want for Christmas is a suuugar daddddddy”

Here are two personal ads that I’m thinking about placing in the local paper. The first being mine, and the second one being my mamas.

Mine: “Chubby girl with BIG (a/k/a sometimes crabby, sometimes mean, sometimes sarcastic) personality seeking a Sugar Daddy. You must be rich enough that I can be a stay-at-home housewife…no. Stay-at-home mom…ummm…NO. Stay-at-home person. I love to travel, but if you’ve recently had heart surgery or a hip replacement, I’d be willing to travel alone and take pictures so that you can see the wonderful sights you are missing. Vera Bradley, Dooney and Bourke, and Coach are the ways to my heart…preferably full of cash. Looks and health not as important as a hefty bank account. If you’re wanting some spice or drama in your life, I’m the girl for you! XOXO.”

Mamas: “Seeking Sugar Daddy as a Christmas gift for my wonderful daughter (she may have lied here). She’s sppppeeeecial. Seeking higher education… not for herself, but in a man.”

Ok, what brought on all this craziness, you ask?? My mama was singing “All I want for Christmas is a sugar daddy for Aleta” tonight. Yes, that is why I love her so.

Just a few short days ago, I went all Feminist-Aleta and was griping about all the stupid girls I know. I’m sorry, but sometimes I look at girls and think “My Gosh, can you get any dumber??” Point being that if you quit your job and become completely dependent on your “man” at the time, you’re leaving yourself open for becoming a “displaced wife/mother/person” in the long run. He might decide he doesn’t want you and could kick you out on the curb. My advice to girls these days is “HAVE A BACKUP PLAN!” Do I want to go BACK to school? Not really. In fact, (though they probably couldn’t stand it) I could probably live out my days at the Journal. But, I feel like if I do (ever) have a family, I would want to help support them. But above that, I want to be able to support myself. I just think that there are some girls that lack ambition all together. –That being said, I have a great respect for housewives and stay-at-home moms…they have a job that I don’t know that I could handle. I just wish girls these days would get their heads out of the clouds and have some goals.

However, bills don’t pay themselves. And Lord help, Aleta needs some mad money. So, if ever prince charming ties his horse up in front of the journal and waltzes in with several bags full of money , I’d be on that like white on rice. :) I wouldn’t mind being a “kept” woman and nobody better say a word about it!! Hehehe…

My fears

So, to start this post out, I’m going to say that I am stressed. Stressed, Anxiety-ridden, near hives, and near panic attack are all terms that could be used here. Why, you ask? Because I am going to start school again. I got my “FSU Card” in the mail on Saturday and that is what has me freaking out. It all sounded good in theory, but now I’m beginning to freak out a bit and it’s just not good. This has led me to realize some of my fears. (Some school-related and some not).

1. Fear of Commitment. This is a biggie. First off, I have signed on to spend the next year and a half (hopefully that’s all it will take) in school. This isn’t a long time in the whole scheme of things…but I still feel like I’m signing my life (until May 2012) away. Not only that, but now I’m going to have to designate a good chunk of my income to student loans (which, thankfully, I’ve never had to do before). This may mean no vacations, no frivolous purchases for myself, and (enter scary music and a scream here) …a budget. Bleh. This is a big thing for me and I’m a little scared.

2. Fear of failure. I did really well at both LCCC and Saint Leo. In fact, I became a bit of a perfectionist when it came to class work and grades. In high school, I would never ask questions because I might’ve appeared dumb. Plus, high school was more of a social event for me; I got decent grades, but never really had to work for them. In college, that was a different story. Yes, the term “grade grubber” comes to mind. It is fair to say that I drove my teachers nuts in order to find out/figure out what I needed to make the best grades possible…and I did. I worked my keester off to maintain a good gpa. Now, I’m going to be taking classes that don’t directly relate to what my Bachelor’s degree is in. What if I don’t do so hot?

3. (unrelated to school) Fear of closeness. I’ve realized recently that I have an issue with this. I tend to push people away when they get too close. Actually, it’s a big flaw of mine. This is weird, but I hate for people to know everything about me. As I was telling a friend last night, I worry that I’m going to wind up alone, like some person on the show Hoarders, in a room filled with pillowcase dresses and cheesecake bars (my new weakness). If I post all my projects from the past few weekends, you’ll understand the latter.

Yes, I’m a completely screwed up individual :) I realize this now. Lol.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend…and if you went Black Friday shopping, I hope that you actually got what you wanted if you had to stand in line (otherwise, it’s just not fun).

Tomorrow I intend on posting my recent projects, and my black Friday finds. All I can say, girls, is that Aleta is plum tuckered out after this past weekend.

The grandbaby craze has hit the Sheffield home…

Last night, my mama was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos (which we love at our house). I walked out of the room for a minute, when I walked back in, mama goes “They were just showing ways people told their parents that they were going to be grandparents. I’ve never seen so much screaming and carryin’ on. But I guess I’d probably do the same…If I ever GOT a grandbaby.”

Hint taken. I said jokingly, “Well, I guess I’ll just work on gettin’ knocked up.” (Again, I said this JOKINGLY.)…

She didn’t dispute it.

I texted KW and told her. She said “Tell her that she’ll have to take on more of a role than just ‘Grandma’ if you’re having to raise the baby alone.”

I told her this.

She still didn’t dispute it.

Now, I’d like to think that it was just because she had just gotten herself into a heated game of solitaire…but I’m beginning to wonder.

It’s official, my mama wants a grandbaby…and soon. Lol. Anyone want to loan her a baby for the day? I’m not planning on becoming a mom anytime soon.