Cynthia Kay...snapped

So, y’all know my mama is crazy, right? Before I get into this, I would just like to say that my sister and I are all-the-time using the term “I will cutttt you.”

Well, the other night we were driving up to the new Murphy gas station when she had a bit of road rage…Well imagine my surprise when my mild-mannered mama says “I’ll cut out your liver” when someone cut in front of her. Now, mind you, she only said this in the car, and only I heard her…but OMG. I was thinking, “Dang, I think Rheba and I have rubbed off on her a little bit.” Then she mumbles, “I think I’ve watched too many episodes of ‘Snapped’ today.” Umm…yeah, I think you have. LOL.

Photos By Amanda Cannon

If y'all will remember my "Mid-twenties meltdown list" post, I had mentioned having my pictures taken. I have only ever had a handful of pictures that I actually like of myself. Well, I had my photo shoot with Amanda Cannon yesterday. She's such a sweetheart, and had great patience with me (as I'm SO not good with all this stuff). Here are a few of the photos. It's odd that I'm saying this about a picture of myself, but I think she did a wonderful job. :)

I was so mad

The title of this post is based on the Little Critter book that I loved as a child.

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up with the desire to give everyone you encounter that day the finger? A day where a little rain cloud seemed to hover above you? A day when you play Mahjong Titans or Solitaire a million times and you lose every single game? A day where each time the front door dings because a customer is walking in, you have the desire throw something at them and say “for the love of Pete, do you REALLY have to come in today?” Today was most certainly one of those days for me. Whether it be that it was a typical Tuesday at the Journal, or because I just felt like crap all day, today was a horrible, horrrrrible day. I have wanted nothing more than to just come home and lay in the fetal position on my bed until a new day dawned. Sadly, my wish was not granted.

People are irritating me. My dogs are irritating me. Inanimate objects are irritating me. :) I need to get out of this town, and soon. I need a vacation, or I think my head is going to just pop off. Or I’m going to turn into one big mass of hives. OR I’m going to become “Crazy Aleta,” the woman that walks down the street talking to herself only stopping occasionally to bang her head into a light pole :) The prospects are grim, I tell you, grim.

WTH?

So I opened up my Facebook, and because I'm friends with the Crooked Creek Mud Bog, their pictures show up on my feed. They had a mud bog over the weekend. Apparently this vehicle was participating...I can honestly say...I've never seen a PT Cruiser jacked up. WTH? Too funny :) I love it.

Indescribable luck

As I sit here in a pit of self-loathing because I ate some super greasy chicken strips from the Crack Shack for lunch (seriously, I do believe my esophagus is attempting to come alive just to slap me in the face) I can't help but chuckle about last weekend...

I'm going to tell y'all a little bit of a backstory to get to the story that I want to tell you about...

Last weekend was my friend, Krystle's, 25th birthday. You know we had to do something special. Though I didn't get to put as much planning into it as I'd hoped, and though it didn't go as I had originally planned, we had a blast. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. The plan was to go to Carrabbas for dinner with the group, then a few of us would go to a movie afterwards. Well, a string of crazy events took place, so our group decreased as the last week drug on.

We got all gussied up and went to Carrabbas for dinner and had a great time. Good friends, good food, good times...(and a key lime trifle that, if I do say so myself, was delicious). We went to see Country Strong afterwards. As I was walking up the ramp to go in the movie theater, I rolled my foot and about busted my butt (the irony is...I was no longer in my heels...but my flip flops). My foot hurt, but I didn't think it was too bad. This movie wasn't one that I was busting at the seams to go see...but actually it wound up being a VERY good movie. A little sad, but very good. I went home that night, after KW's big birthday adventure, and climbed into bed...utterly exhausted.

The next morning, I woke up with my foot throbbing. I nearly cried as I tried to put pressure on it to get out of bed. It took me about 5 minutes to get to my mom's room, which was right next to mine. I begged her to take me to the Emergency Medical place in Gainesville. She agreed...

As my family has their priorities in order (as always), we had to drive to (outside of) Williston to get horse feed first. All the while, my foot throbbing. But now I'm so, so glad we did. I saw something that you just don't see everyday...especially in Williston...

I saw a black tranny in a dress and faux fur coat doing jumping jacks in the parking lot of a jiffy store.

I about rolled. Hilarious.

To finish this story, I found out that I had "sprained my foot." It's better now. It hasn't really hurt me much since Tuesday. However, if ever you have something happen to your foot/ankle, I pray that you know how to use crutches already. I had the nurse laugh at me trying to hobble-crutch myself out of the doctor's office. The compassion overfloweth. ha.

Nearing the end of 2010...

In 2010…

My mama fought breast cancer and had to go through Chemo treatments.

I sought out other employment…only to realize that the other prospect was full of lunatics…and decided that I was more than happy to stay at the Journal.

I’ve continued to be a nut magnet and have met a’many a’one this year.

I made a “bucket list” so-to-speak.

I was able to go on 2 vacations to the Panhandle, where I met new friends, and got to experience new towns, new restaurants, new people, new things.

I’ve lost someone that I dearly loved.

I became an even bigger fan of Mrs. Paula Deen.

We were blessed with “the” Karter Lee.

I became an expert at making pillowcase dresses.

I was accepted into FSU.

We had what will forever be known as the "December Watsonville Mailbox Hate Crimes"

Things I’ve learned:

Sometimes it’s better to let someone hit rock bottom and face the consequences rather than constantly bailing them out and them never learning.

When a friend is hurting, the best thing you can do for them is to hug them and let them know that you’re there for them. It makes it easier when they know that they aren’t alone…but no matter how much you may want to, you can’t help heal the pain that they’re experiencing.

Random little fact: Acid is the only drug not detectable on a drug test. (via a friend from Carrabelle)

Along that same line: If you are pulled over and the officer suspects you’ve been drinking…if you refuse a breathilizer, you will be charged with “refusal” as opposed to “DUI.” You will still lose your license for a year…but the charge will be different.—This I learned after questioning the GCSO. A special thank you to the officers that put that Journal dispute to rest.

Joe Mama’s pizza is the best in Florida.

Sometimes it can actually hurt when someone tells you that they love you.

My mama’s driving CAN actually worsen.

When faced with boredom, and armed with a brick, citrine, and a boulder…local teenagers can be creative when beating down your mailbox three nights in a row.

It's hard to take a person that's yelling at you seriously when he isn't wearing his teeth.

No matter what happens…I still have white coat syndrome.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

That some people are destined to have crazy things happen to them….I have been blessed to be one of those people.

Old people can still rock out.

The Japanese are a very focused group of people (according to a customer).

“Men are like chocolates…Avoid the nutty ones, and if one has been tested and put back…leave it alone.”

Favorites of 2010:

Favorite Movie: Eat Pray Love

Favorite TV Show: How I met your Mother

Favorite Song: So, so many…but I’d have to say “Love the way you lie” by Eminem/Rhiannna

Favorite Book: (reading it now) “It ain’t all about the cookin’” –Paula Deen’s memoirs.

Favorite Quote: “Shawty. You’s my peep. You prolly gonna be there after my incarceration.”—The Cynthia Kay Ebonics lesson :)

Karter Lee, Black Friday, and Pillowcase dresses

So, guys…I’ve been busy. Real busy lately. Between crazy dogs, plans for indestructible mailboxes, shopping, and pillowcase dresses I have been busy!

First things first…I must inform y’all of what my dog, Karter Lee, did recently. Now, bless her heart, she’s a bit of a spaz. She really has good reason to be, though. Before we got her, she had been dumped. A person actually saw the people dump her and drive off. She ran after them :(. But after a call to my Daddy, we decided to give her a good home. It really was a blessing, because little did we know, in a few short weeks we would find out that Kenzie Mae had cancer and would need to be put down. But, when we got her, she had been shot with a pellet gun twice, and still had one of the pellets lodged in her. She’s terrified of thunderstorms because after she had been dumped she spent a few days just wandering around in the area (it was around the time that we had a lot of rain…maybe it was like a tropical depression…? I can’t remember). Despite all of the horrible treatment that she had gotten before, we have shown her all the love we could possibly give to her….and she is spoiled rotten. She can’t wait for Friday to roll around b/c she knows Dad will ride her on the Gator all weekend. And Sunday nights, she gets all depressed b/c she knows it’s the end of her weekend. (I swear, she knows the days of the week). So, that is my dear Karter Lee’s back story.

Now, one thing about Karter Lee and Sassy is they LOVE Cheese-its. They can hear us open the box and they will be in the kitchen in a heartbeat. I’m thinking this love of cheese-its had something to do with what happened the other day.

We woke up the other morning to find this in the hallway. (The scene of the crime)...
I had unfortunately left my grocery bag on our kitchen floor the night before. It contained my package of bagels and the box of cheese-its.

We’re thinking that (again on a Monday morning) when dad left for work, she started spazzing. She found the bag and wanted to get into the cheese-it box. –her being the emotional eater…hehehe—However, my bagels were much easier to break into. She ate four. FOUR WHOLE BAGELS. Lol. I guess she stopped when she got full.

Here’s the culprit. At least she looks like she's thinking about what she did...lol.

Oh, and I will also post a picture of the loot that I scored on Black Friday. :) Nearly $300 later, I have pretty much everything that I need for the kids I was buying for this year.

Now…onto my house full of pillowcase dresses. I have made a total of fourteen over the past three weeks. Here is my “collection.” A few are missing: one is below and two were given as birthday presents.

I’ve even made some little boy pants. How cute are these little camo pants??

I love all my dresses…but if I were to give a “Best in Show,” it would have to be my latest one. I LOVE the cream-colored eyelet fabric on the bottom. I do believe this will look precious on the little girl it’s going to.