At the beginning of the week, we had a woman wearing headphones come in. We had to listen to her give us a lesson on how to make dog food while she was looking for a variety of sharpies. A) I actually feel really bad for this woman because she suffers with a form of autism and probably rarely gets to interact with people. B) Let me reiterate. We had to get schooled on how to make dog food. C) She once bought a journal/calendar from us just to write down her dog’s moods. D) She once had a goat give birth in the back of her van. And finally, E) She gets SO excited while she’s talking to you that she literally starts wheezing. Now, I know that I sound like I’m making fun, but really I do feel terrible for her. It was just a crazy experience all-in-all that I needed to share.
Thursday, I had the Blonde Indian come in. Now, she’s recently married someone about 20 years her junior. Impressive? Maybe. Still, the woman is pushing 80. But anytime I deal with her it’s an experience. I spent about 10 minutes trying (to no avail) to explain that her paper renewal was 6 months past due. I don’t think she ever got it. Then she started asking me what I used for my “beautiful” complexion.—I’m breaking out terribly this week…so apparently she didn’t have her glasses on. She proceeded to tell me what her friend used to keep her glowing complexion. Ok. So, then, she went to glance through our stationary books. After a few minutes, she called me over there. She said “I was really hoping that you would have something with two beavers on it that maybe said something like ‘it takes two to tango.’” Are you kidding me? How I kept a straight face, I have not a clue. Again, the woman is 80. Thank you for that visual. I think I need to go claw my eyes out.
Today. Picture it. Hitchcocks. 7:45 a.m. I got to see someone DRIVE HIMSELF INTO A WALL using the machine on wheels that goes beep…beep….beep every few seconds. H.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. I about wet my pants. Bless his heart. Haha. First attempt at driving the equipment maybe??
Then, I wasted about 5 minutes of my life with a person in deep contemplation as to whether or not she should purchase a 24 cent report cover. Ummmm…. What?
Right after that, someone comes running into our office to have us go help them pick up a lady that had fallen off her scooter and was lying in the road. We all went out there. Thankfully, the woman was alright. The scooter had just toppled as it was going down the sidewalk. This is not the crazy part. So, as Carrie and I were standing there with several other people trying to help, a trooper comes up to help. About that time, a city cop drives right past us, just staring. WTH? Then, someone had called the ambulance, so everyone was waiting until the woman got checked out by the EMT. A minute or two later we see the ambulance coming towards us at a distance. One of the people standing by said “Ma’am the ambulance is coming now.” Yeah…it was, until it was about 5 blocks away from us, where it turned and went the OTHER way. WTH? Is it hard to navigate MAIN street?? Maybe there had been an earlier call from Ayers H&R or something. But it was crazy. All of it was crazy.
This week was filled with a lot of “re-re.” Let the lunacy continue next week and maybe I’ll have enough to start my first set of memoirs. :)