Saturday, March 13, 2010

The week of re-re

So, this week has been a doozie at work. Nothing terrible has happened, but some of the craziest crap has happened. Crazy, I tell you!

At the beginning of the week, we had a woman wearing headphones come in. We had to listen to her give us a lesson on how to make dog food while she was looking for a variety of sharpies. A) I actually feel really bad for this woman because she suffers with a form of autism and probably rarely gets to interact with people. B) Let me reiterate. We had to get schooled on how to make dog food. C) She once bought a journal/calendar from us just to write down her dog’s moods. D) She once had a goat give birth in the back of her van. And finally, E) She gets SO excited while she’s talking to you that she literally starts wheezing. Now, I know that I sound like I’m making fun, but really I do feel terrible for her. It was just a crazy experience all-in-all that I needed to share.

Thursday, I had the Blonde Indian come in. Now, she’s recently married someone about 20 years her junior. Impressive? Maybe. Still, the woman is pushing 80. But anytime I deal with her it’s an experience. I spent about 10 minutes trying (to no avail) to explain that her paper renewal was 6 months past due. I don’t think she ever got it. Then she started asking me what I used for my “beautiful” complexion.—I’m breaking out terribly this week…so apparently she didn’t have her glasses on. She proceeded to tell me what her friend used to keep her glowing complexion. Ok. So, then, she went to glance through our stationary books. After a few minutes, she called me over there. She said “I was really hoping that you would have something with two beavers on it that maybe said something like ‘it takes two to tango.’” Are you kidding me? How I kept a straight face, I have not a clue. Again, the woman is 80. Thank you for that visual. I think I need to go claw my eyes out.

Today. Picture it. Hitchcocks. 7:45 a.m. I got to see someone DRIVE HIMSELF INTO A WALL using the machine on wheels that goes beep…beep….beep every few seconds. H.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. I about wet my pants. Bless his heart. Haha. First attempt at driving the equipment maybe??

Then, I wasted about 5 minutes of my life with a person in deep contemplation as to whether or not she should purchase a 24 cent report cover. Ummmm…. What?

Right after that, someone comes running into our office to have us go help them pick up a lady that had fallen off her scooter and was lying in the road. We all went out there. Thankfully, the woman was alright. The scooter had just toppled as it was going down the sidewalk. This is not the crazy part. So, as Carrie and I were standing there with several other people trying to help, a trooper comes up to help. About that time, a city cop drives right past us, just staring. WTH? Then, someone had called the ambulance, so everyone was waiting until the woman got checked out by the EMT. A minute or two later we see the ambulance coming towards us at a distance. One of the people standing by said “Ma’am the ambulance is coming now.” Yeah…it was, until it was about 5 blocks away from us, where it turned and went the OTHER way. WTH? Is it hard to navigate MAIN street?? Maybe there had been an earlier call from Ayers H&R or something. But it was crazy. All of it was crazy.

This week was filled with a lot of “re-re.” Let the lunacy continue next week and maybe I’ll have enough to start my first set of memoirs. :)

Friday, March 5, 2010

Hester Prynne here...

So, I haven’t blogged in a few weeks. Figured I would today. Y’all, there has been so much going on, I feel like I’m in a whirlwind.

Let me catch y’all up on a few things.

1. I became a Sunday School helper. Yay! Verrrry un-Aleta, but actually I’m excited about it. I really like the kids that we’re teaching (also very un-Aleta :) I don’t know, but it’s nice to be involved in things again. I’ve spent 4 years not having a Sunday School class, not really feeling like I belonged there…So I’m really loving it. I also like the whole accountability thing. Like there are things that I just won’t do anymore because I would feel like I’m not being a good role model.

2. Mama is halfway done with treatments. Yay. And she’s doing really well.

3. I am apparently becoming Hester Prynne in some people’s eyes. Though I did not have an affair with a minister and I’m NOT pregnant. It’s more the guilty by association thing. And the thing is, I don’t even know what the people that I’m “associated with” have done. And I don’t particularly want to know. I want to stay out of all the drama. I don’t need it.

Now, there is probably is much more going on that I just can’t think of right this moment, and later I will kick myself for not including…but I’m moving on to my rants of the week/month/year.

1. I wish people would realize that if I’m reading a book, please DON’T try to start up a conversation.

2. I’m changing my name. I hear it so often now, I seriously want to change it. “Aleta, do you….?” “Aleta, what do you think?” “Aleta, could you come here…?” Y’all get my drift. My name has been worn out.

3. For the love of Pete, I hate when people ask me a question and then interrupt me. Really? And on that same note, I hate when people interrupt other people while they are talking. It’s just rude.

4. Why is it when you think that you’ve gotten someone out of your life that they come back in and (possibly) sing you a song? Leave me be! Do you have radar?? Do you get signals when I am forgetting about you and think to yourself “Hmmmm…must come back in her life somehow?” ARGGGHHH!

5. I HATE when people blatantly lie to me. WTH? Just tell me the truth for Pete’s sake. It’s not that complicated.

6. As Jo Dee Messina put it “My give a D*** is busted”. Seriously. I know that this sounds completely awful, but I’ve had it. For some reason I have the “unburden your soul to me” effect on people. I hear about all their crap day after day after day. I can’t constantly be a encouraging person. I don’t have it in me to be that way 24/7. I just can’t do it. I can’t uplift 4 people at a time. Give me one person with a problem and I can listen and help…but I can’t do that with 4 people all at once. I. Yi. Yi.

On a similar note.

7. Have you ever heard someone like this… “Well, I know that I need to do this,…but if I do it than blah blah blah will happen. So I don’t know. But if I don’t do something different I’m going to go nuts…But then again…” and so on and so on. I know I have been guilty of this too…but crap, just do something already!! You could spend years talking about it. Just freaking do it. Wishy-washy is not a good place to be. And it’s not fun to hear about. And it’s not fun to be involved in. And if you’re not going to do it…then, freakin accept it and move on….Enough with the rants….moving on…

Weird event of the day:

An odd couple (that apparently once tried to sue Hitchcocks) come in with their 40ish year-old slow son….he seems semi-intelligent, but just one of those weird kids that never quite grows up. His brain is there, but he’s just got NO social skills….Chris is helping them at the counter. The son comes over and stands by my screen. He’s just standing there, looking, not at my face….(I’m wearing a low-cut shirt)…and he starts saying…while looking me over…

“This is a nice place to work. It’s just like I like it…Silent. I hate having people pester me while I’m trying to do things. Maybe I’m half Japanese or something. With nobody pestering you you can focus on what you’re doing and not make as many mistakes.”

I politely agree…then look back at my computer and start typing.

“Yeah, this is a really nice place. So quiet. I do hate people pestering me.”

I nod and look back at my computer.

“I also hate being surprised. Yeah, when it’s quiet, you can focus on what you’re doing.”

Me: “Yeah, you sure can.” (Give him a bug-eyed crazy look then look back at my computer).

Someone else walks in. I go to help them. As I’m helping him. The guy comes up and says. “Yep, thirty years ago, my mom went into a quiet office and they hired her on the spot and immediately put her to work.”


You are pestering me, you weirdo!