As I was listening to “She’s only happy in the sun” on my way to work this morning, I decided I would blog about what’s going on.
Lately, every night when I lay down in my bed I have the overwhelming urge to throw all my clothes in suitcases/laundry baskets/etc, gather all of my important junk, and get in my car and drive. In fact, one day, don’t be surprised when it turns up that I’ve run far, far away. Lol. I can’t even describe it. Maybe…discontent??
For those of you that didn’t already know, I’ve quit my grad program. I know, I know, believe me I’ve heard it… “You’re ruining your future” or better yet “What are you going to do now?!” Amazingly, my mom wasn’t too upset. In fact, I ran it past her the night that it occurred to me at 1 a.m. that it just wasn’t for me and she understood. My dad…Well, when I told him (a week after I'd already quit), panic washed over his face and he spit out “Well, what are you going to do?!” To that…I have no clue. BUT, and a most-important but, I would like this to be recorded…I made a 4.0 before quitting FSU. So, no, it wasn’t my grades that caused me to quit school. I just honestly couldn’t see pouring an un-Godly amount of money into a degree that I no longer saw myself using. For those of y’all that don’t know…Some library policies are RIDICULOUS. And as a side-note, I had the HARDEST time trying to get advisors to get back with me, to answer my questions…and I just kept thinking “this is YOUR job, this is what YOU get paid for.” Don’t worry, when I withdrew from the program…several at FSU got an earful...including the Dean. And I got several apologetic emails. Too little, too late.
But this wasn’t my reason for writing this blog. I’ve always felt like I would spend my life here. I love small towns, and I do love the people here…but I feel like staying here is slowly killing me. After some of the ordeals I’ve been through the past couple of years, it’s hard even driving to work without having a flood of memories cause a lump in my throat.
So, in “summation,” I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. No clue. I have no idea where I would want to go. But I DO know that if I don’t get out of here soon my butt will be headed to Vista.
If anyone has an idea of anyone that would like to run away with me, let me know :) I’d be happy not to go it alone.