Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Nearing the end of 2010...

In 2010…

My mama fought breast cancer and had to go through Chemo treatments.

I sought out other employment…only to realize that the other prospect was full of lunatics…and decided that I was more than happy to stay at the Journal.

I’ve continued to be a nut magnet and have met a’many a’one this year.

I made a “bucket list” so-to-speak.

I was able to go on 2 vacations to the Panhandle, where I met new friends, and got to experience new towns, new restaurants, new people, new things.

I’ve lost someone that I dearly loved.

I became an even bigger fan of Mrs. Paula Deen.

We were blessed with “the” Karter Lee.

I became an expert at making pillowcase dresses.

I was accepted into FSU.

We had what will forever be known as the "December Watsonville Mailbox Hate Crimes"

Things I’ve learned:

Sometimes it’s better to let someone hit rock bottom and face the consequences rather than constantly bailing them out and them never learning.

When a friend is hurting, the best thing you can do for them is to hug them and let them know that you’re there for them. It makes it easier when they know that they aren’t alone…but no matter how much you may want to, you can’t help heal the pain that they’re experiencing.

Random little fact: Acid is the only drug not detectable on a drug test. (via a friend from Carrabelle)

Along that same line: If you are pulled over and the officer suspects you’ve been drinking…if you refuse a breathilizer, you will be charged with “refusal” as opposed to “DUI.” You will still lose your license for a year…but the charge will be different.—This I learned after questioning the GCSO. A special thank you to the officers that put that Journal dispute to rest.

Joe Mama’s pizza is the best in Florida.

Sometimes it can actually hurt when someone tells you that they love you.

My mama’s driving CAN actually worsen.

When faced with boredom, and armed with a brick, citrine, and a boulder…local teenagers can be creative when beating down your mailbox three nights in a row.

It's hard to take a person that's yelling at you seriously when he isn't wearing his teeth.

No matter what happens…I still have white coat syndrome.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

That some people are destined to have crazy things happen to them….I have been blessed to be one of those people.

Old people can still rock out.

The Japanese are a very focused group of people (according to a customer).

“Men are like chocolates…Avoid the nutty ones, and if one has been tested and put back…leave it alone.”

Favorites of 2010:

Favorite Movie: Eat Pray Love

Favorite TV Show: How I met your Mother

Favorite Song: So, so many…but I’d have to say “Love the way you lie” by Eminem/Rhiannna

Favorite Book: (reading it now) “It ain’t all about the cookin’” –Paula Deen’s memoirs.

Favorite Quote: “Shawty. You’s my peep. You prolly gonna be there after my incarceration.”—The Cynthia Kay Ebonics lesson :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Karter Lee, Black Friday, and Pillowcase dresses

So, guys…I’ve been busy. Real busy lately. Between crazy dogs, plans for indestructible mailboxes, shopping, and pillowcase dresses I have been busy!

First things first…I must inform y’all of what my dog, Karter Lee, did recently. Now, bless her heart, she’s a bit of a spaz. She really has good reason to be, though. Before we got her, she had been dumped. A person actually saw the people dump her and drive off. She ran after them :(. But after a call to my Daddy, we decided to give her a good home. It really was a blessing, because little did we know, in a few short weeks we would find out that Kenzie Mae had cancer and would need to be put down. But, when we got her, she had been shot with a pellet gun twice, and still had one of the pellets lodged in her. She’s terrified of thunderstorms because after she had been dumped she spent a few days just wandering around in the area (it was around the time that we had a lot of rain…maybe it was like a tropical depression…? I can’t remember). Despite all of the horrible treatment that she had gotten before, we have shown her all the love we could possibly give to her….and she is spoiled rotten. She can’t wait for Friday to roll around b/c she knows Dad will ride her on the Gator all weekend. And Sunday nights, she gets all depressed b/c she knows it’s the end of her weekend. (I swear, she knows the days of the week). So, that is my dear Karter Lee’s back story.

Now, one thing about Karter Lee and Sassy is they LOVE Cheese-its. They can hear us open the box and they will be in the kitchen in a heartbeat. I’m thinking this love of cheese-its had something to do with what happened the other day.

We woke up the other morning to find this in the hallway. (The scene of the crime)...
I had unfortunately left my grocery bag on our kitchen floor the night before. It contained my package of bagels and the box of cheese-its.

We’re thinking that (again on a Monday morning) when dad left for work, she started spazzing. She found the bag and wanted to get into the cheese-it box. –her being the emotional eater…hehehe—However, my bagels were much easier to break into. She ate four. FOUR WHOLE BAGELS. Lol. I guess she stopped when she got full.

Here’s the culprit. At least she looks like she's thinking about what she

Oh, and I will also post a picture of the loot that I scored on Black Friday. :) Nearly $300 later, I have pretty much everything that I need for the kids I was buying for this year.

Now…onto my house full of pillowcase dresses. I have made a total of fourteen over the past three weeks. Here is my “collection.” A few are missing: one is below and two were given as birthday presents.

I’ve even made some little boy pants. How cute are these little camo pants??

I love all my dresses…but if I were to give a “Best in Show,” it would have to be my latest one. I LOVE the cream-colored eyelet fabric on the bottom. I do believe this will look precious on the little girl it’s going to.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

“All I want for Christmas is a suuugar daddddddy”

Here are two personal ads that I’m thinking about placing in the local paper. The first being mine, and the second one being my mamas.

Mine: “Chubby girl with BIG (a/k/a sometimes crabby, sometimes mean, sometimes sarcastic) personality seeking a Sugar Daddy. You must be rich enough that I can be a stay-at-home housewife…no. Stay-at-home mom…ummm…NO. Stay-at-home person. I love to travel, but if you’ve recently had heart surgery or a hip replacement, I’d be willing to travel alone and take pictures so that you can see the wonderful sights you are missing. Vera Bradley, Dooney and Bourke, and Coach are the ways to my heart…preferably full of cash. Looks and health not as important as a hefty bank account. If you’re wanting some spice or drama in your life, I’m the girl for you! XOXO.”

Mamas: “Seeking Sugar Daddy as a Christmas gift for my wonderful daughter (she may have lied here). She’s sppppeeeecial. Seeking higher education… not for herself, but in a man.”

Ok, what brought on all this craziness, you ask?? My mama was singing “All I want for Christmas is a sugar daddy for Aleta” tonight. Yes, that is why I love her so.

Just a few short days ago, I went all Feminist-Aleta and was griping about all the stupid girls I know. I’m sorry, but sometimes I look at girls and think “My Gosh, can you get any dumber??” Point being that if you quit your job and become completely dependent on your “man” at the time, you’re leaving yourself open for becoming a “displaced wife/mother/person” in the long run. He might decide he doesn’t want you and could kick you out on the curb. My advice to girls these days is “HAVE A BACKUP PLAN!” Do I want to go BACK to school? Not really. In fact, (though they probably couldn’t stand it) I could probably live out my days at the Journal. But, I feel like if I do (ever) have a family, I would want to help support them. But above that, I want to be able to support myself. I just think that there are some girls that lack ambition all together. –That being said, I have a great respect for housewives and stay-at-home moms…they have a job that I don’t know that I could handle. I just wish girls these days would get their heads out of the clouds and have some goals.

However, bills don’t pay themselves. And Lord help, Aleta needs some mad money. So, if ever prince charming ties his horse up in front of the journal and waltzes in with several bags full of money , I’d be on that like white on rice. :) I wouldn’t mind being a “kept” woman and nobody better say a word about it!! Hehehe…

Monday, November 29, 2010

My fears

So, to start this post out, I’m going to say that I am stressed. Stressed, Anxiety-ridden, near hives, and near panic attack are all terms that could be used here. Why, you ask? Because I am going to start school again. I got my “FSU Card” in the mail on Saturday and that is what has me freaking out. It all sounded good in theory, but now I’m beginning to freak out a bit and it’s just not good. This has led me to realize some of my fears. (Some school-related and some not).

1. Fear of Commitment. This is a biggie. First off, I have signed on to spend the next year and a half (hopefully that’s all it will take) in school. This isn’t a long time in the whole scheme of things…but I still feel like I’m signing my life (until May 2012) away. Not only that, but now I’m going to have to designate a good chunk of my income to student loans (which, thankfully, I’ve never had to do before). This may mean no vacations, no frivolous purchases for myself, and (enter scary music and a scream here) …a budget. Bleh. This is a big thing for me and I’m a little scared.

2. Fear of failure. I did really well at both LCCC and Saint Leo. In fact, I became a bit of a perfectionist when it came to class work and grades. In high school, I would never ask questions because I might’ve appeared dumb. Plus, high school was more of a social event for me; I got decent grades, but never really had to work for them. In college, that was a different story. Yes, the term “grade grubber” comes to mind. It is fair to say that I drove my teachers nuts in order to find out/figure out what I needed to make the best grades possible…and I did. I worked my keester off to maintain a good gpa. Now, I’m going to be taking classes that don’t directly relate to what my Bachelor’s degree is in. What if I don’t do so hot?

3. (unrelated to school) Fear of closeness. I’ve realized recently that I have an issue with this. I tend to push people away when they get too close. Actually, it’s a big flaw of mine. This is weird, but I hate for people to know everything about me. As I was telling a friend last night, I worry that I’m going to wind up alone, like some person on the show Hoarders, in a room filled with pillowcase dresses and cheesecake bars (my new weakness). If I post all my projects from the past few weekends, you’ll understand the latter.

Yes, I’m a completely screwed up individual :) I realize this now. Lol.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend…and if you went Black Friday shopping, I hope that you actually got what you wanted if you had to stand in line (otherwise, it’s just not fun).

Tomorrow I intend on posting my recent projects, and my black Friday finds. All I can say, girls, is that Aleta is plum tuckered out after this past weekend.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The grandbaby craze has hit the Sheffield home…

Last night, my mama was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos (which we love at our house). I walked out of the room for a minute, when I walked back in, mama goes “They were just showing ways people told their parents that they were going to be grandparents. I’ve never seen so much screaming and carryin’ on. But I guess I’d probably do the same…If I ever GOT a grandbaby.”

Hint taken. I said jokingly, “Well, I guess I’ll just work on gettin’ knocked up.” (Again, I said this JOKINGLY.)…

She didn’t dispute it.

I texted KW and told her. She said “Tell her that she’ll have to take on more of a role than just ‘Grandma’ if you’re having to raise the baby alone.”

I told her this.

She still didn’t dispute it.

Now, I’d like to think that it was just because she had just gotten herself into a heated game of solitaire…but I’m beginning to wonder.

It’s official, my mama wants a grandbaby…and soon. Lol. Anyone want to loan her a baby for the day? I’m not planning on becoming a mom anytime soon.

Friday, November 12, 2010

How to flirt while at work...

This has been a question plaguing me lately. I mean, really, how do you do it? Now, to give you a little bit of a back story… I’ve spent the last few months fluctuating from feeling like I was going crazy to that feeling you have when you slam your hand in a car door. Don’t ask (said rolling my eyes). But lately, I think that my blood is running hot again. Lol. As bad as it might sound, I find this to be a GOOD thing. Darlin’, anything is better than despair in my book. So, a decent-looking guy came in the office the other day and I thought “hmmmm….” But because I most often work with guys towards the end of the week, how does one go about flirting with a customer? Let’s be honest here, I feel like it would be very obvious to even try to flirt here. First off, Wednesday through Friday, in the office, you can typically hear a pin drop. Secondly, whether it be because I’m not a morning person, not a good customer service person, or what have you…I typically play the roll of angry secretary #1 here at the office. So, adding a little spring to my step, or even smiling/being nice to the customers might be out of character for me. What, oh, what is a girl to do?

Next Question, as mentioned on my facebook, I completely understand a man not wearing a wedding ring b/c he might lose his finger on equipment. But when they don’t wear one, it is VERY HARD for single girls to know whether they’re married or not w/o asking or asking around.

Any suggestions?

Friday, November 5, 2010

God, grant my doctor the wisdom to up my medicine and refill my prescription

This hasn’t JUST started happening…I have felt for a while that sometimes I find myself in situations befitting the Twilight Zone series. Tonight was one of those nights…

My mom and I had been invited to attend a little show tonight at the Country Club. There were a few vendors there and it would give us some ideas for Christmas…so we decided to go. We got there and had fun chit-chatting with Katie, Mrs. Char, and Mrs. Tracey. After discussing Pampered Chef with Katie, my mama honed in on the Stampin’ Up table (of course!). She was busy making a lady bug candy bag, while I looked through Mrs. Char’s Christmas cards. I made the comment “See, Mama, I should just pay Mrs. Char to make my Christmas cards for me.” Mrs. Char laughed and I explained that I had gotten Mama to make my cards last year, because the year before, when I had made them myself, I heard some comments from Mama. Comments like: “Oooh, Aleta, I wouldn’t have used those colors together.” “Aleta, I would’ve done those differently.” What can I say, I don’t have the eye and it is SO hard to live up to the awesomely creative crafter that IS my mama. So, we laugh about it now. I just say “I can’t do anything to please her when it comes to making cards,” and laugh it off. It is a joke between us. Now, I told you that to tell you this…

After making my comment about having Mrs. Char make my cards because my mama hassles me, I had this very strange lady approach me. I hope to goodness she never reads this blog, and I hope I don’t offend anyone that may know her, but by George I think she must’ve smoked quite a bit of pot in her day. (know this—this was a very one-sided conversation, seeing as how I couldn’t get a word in edgewise; half the time I didn’t know what to say, and it was hard to say anything when she started laughing like Fran the Nanny…I just stood in amazement).

She says to me, “Honey, I had the same type relationship with my mama. She was never satisfied with what I did. Heck, even when I was little, she would stop me in my sewing projects and say ‘just let me do it, you’re going too slow.’ Here’s what I think, you’re a cold color person, aren’t you? (I’m baffled at what she’s even talking about) You like bluish reds, right? (I guess???) I bet your mother is a warm colored person; she likes orangish-reds. (Ok, and the point is??) That is why you clash. I used to do color analysis on people. I just know these things. (Ahhh….so you’re a fruit loop). –Might I add here that I have a wonderful relationship with my mama—“That is why y’all don’t get along.” Haaaaaaaaaaaaa (nasaly as Fran). “See, at 49, I told my mama ‘The reason we never got along is because you always wanted a perfect child. How could you make a perfect child? You and dad were stubborn people. You couldn’t have a PERFECT child. But see, she’s always favored my middle sister. Hello! They didn’t hold her to the same standards they held me to. And that is why we always clashed. Once she realized that that was what her problem was, she really didn’t have much time to work on it, though. She died a short time after that.” (WTH?) –And I will add here that I have no idea in H how this conversation steered in this direction—

“I used to be not only a one-ton Sue. But a two-ton Sue. I’ve always had a weight issue (should I begin to get offended here??...yes, I think so). Here’s where the issue with my weight happened at… My family used to own a grocery store. And every Sunday, we would go over to my Grandma’s for lunch. She was one of those old-time cooks. She would make not only one meat, but she would make like chicken, pork, AND beef. And she would get offended when you didn’t try a little of everything. I would go ‘ugggggghhhh, I’m stuffed, Grandma.’ Literally, we would be SOOO full and she would say ‘I don’t know why y’all think you have a problem with weight.’” HAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

“Now I really miss them though. I would take them back with all their problems if I could.”

By the time the conversation had come to a close, my eyes were literally bugging out of my head.

I swear, as soon as she latched onto someone else, I decided to run. I did feel sorry for the lady who’d just earned herself a parasite, but hey, I had to save myself, right?

What. The. Heck??????? Again I say, I am a nut-magnet! And why, oh why, do people think I care? Is my psychology degree written somewhere on me, only visible to crazy people? I just don’t understand!!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Grover and the Darlings

I posted this as FB post earlier, and Crystal insisted on a blog post. I’m happy to oblige.

Last night, I was sitting at my computer, minding my own business, when my mama comes up and sits down next to me. She has a Grover the Great book (Grover…as in the Sesame Street blue, fuzzy monster). She starts reading it to me. ???? The best part of this is that it had a finger puppet Grover which she had to act out with. She read a few pages and I just looked at her like “WTH???” She’s like “I just thought it was cute.”…Either she is (not-so) subtly telling me that she desperately wants grandkids …or she’s going nuts. I’m going with the latter. First Shawty, now Grover the Great?? Any suggestions on any good “homes” to put her in?? hehehe…just kidding. Where would I get my blog material?

I have been meaning to post about this, but honestly, I kept forgetting. A few weeks ago we went to see Jake Krack and his band play. It was my very first Fiddlin’ Concert y’all. Not only was it a Fiddlin’ Concert…it was the Florida Fiddler’s Association Convention. KW and I decided to step outside the box a little and get some “culture.” …Ok, yes, there was a cute guy involved, too.

As always, any trip with KW winds up being an adventure. We had begun planning for this “event” a couple of weeks in advance. I wondered…what does one wear to a Fiddlin’ concert?? I settled with a plaid shirt and jeans. :) Once we got there, we had a great debate in my car as to whether or not we would actually go in. I imagined 50 old people staring us down as we walked in. We determined that if that were the situation, I would SO say that I was with the paper…which seemed like a pretty good excuse to be there…right?? Well, we were the youngest ones there at first, but that might not have been why they were looking at us. I tripped going up the stairs, y’all. That first step was mighty tricky. We got inside, and our fears became reality when we realized that, other than grandchildren (who did not look so happy to be there, btw), we were two of the maybe four young people there.

We took our seats while the band was warming up. People were chatting and shuffling about. Kw leaned in to say “I just want to ask him if he’s single.” Yeah, the instant she started saying that, the room got quiet. Lord, help.

The situation got funnier and funnier as the night went on. KW had the unibomber sitting close to her and he kept getting up and walking to the back every few minutes. A lady in front of me somehow whipped out an ice pack during the middle of the concert to ice down her hand. And the guy sitting beside her had slumped down sideways and looked as if he might’ve been dead. I kind of wanted to poke him. I got a case of the giggles during the concert. It was one of those times where you nearly suffocate trying to calm yourself down. I hoped they didn’t think I was laughing at them, because the band did an excellent job. In fact, for some reason, they reminded me of the Darlings off of Andy Griffith. The music was great, and I must say, I’ve never seen such fast fiddlin’, but because I have a very untrained ear, a lot of the songs sounded the same. Towards the end, we were entertained by some “flat-footing” (a type of dancing that is popular where they are from). All I can say to that is “Wow.”

Later, we went to tell the band that they had done an excellent job. We talked to the banjo player for a minute. He asked if we were returning the following night to go to the square dance. Though the offer was very sweet, we both had to decline. See, if they were the ones playing for the square dance…we would’ve had to dance with some 70 year olds.

:) Needless to say…A good time was had by all.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

My Mama the Ebonics Instructor

This was too funny not to share.

Usher now apparently has one of those American Cancer Society commercials where he sings “Happy Birthday.” To be honest, the first few times that I saw the (Justin Bieber and Keith Urban ones) commercials, it made me want to cry. No more.

So I walked into the room this afternoon right after the Usher commercial. This is how the conversation went:

Mama: “Aleta, who’s Shawny?”
Me: “What??”
Mama: “There was just some rapper singing ‘Shawny, Happy birthday to you’.”
I said, “Mama, if it was some rapper, I’m sure it was ‘Shawty’ not ‘Shawny.’”
Mama: “What does that even mean?”
Rheba piped in… “Almost all rappers use that in at least one of their songs.”
Mama’s like, “Shawty. You’s my peep. You prolly gonna be there after my incarceration.”

O.M.G. Before you think my mama is stereotyping…she was totally making fun of me b/c once after listening to some song on 105.3 I had to ask her what ‘incarcerated’ was (mind you, I was a teenager).

So, tonight, we were sitting out in her stamping room and the commercial came on again. I walk out of the room for a minute, when I return, I hear my mama singing…

“Shawty, it’s your birthday…Happy Birthday, Shawty…Happy birthday to you.”

Oh. Dear. Jesus. I about died. What am I going to do with her?? LOL!

And on that note, my mama is now going around singing “What I like.…What I like….What I like.” We were watching the lovely channel RFDTv this week, while the FFA National Convention was on. There was a group that sang the song “What I like about you.” The back-up singer, who was very very flat to say the least (a/k/a couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket) would only sing “What I like…..What I like….” So, mom now does her impression of him in this deep, creepy voice…all. The. Time. It is hilarious.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

A case of the Uglies

Have you ever had a week (or month) where you just KNOW you look like fido’s butt? You’re still gettin’ up and “paintin’ the barn,” as my preacher would say, but it sure ain’t pretty? This is how I’m feeling right now.

I think old age is settin’ in y’all. For real. I wake up every morning feeling like I got into a fight with a chimpanzee during the middle of the night. My back aches, my neck aches, and I would rather just put the covers back over my head and wake up in 2012. I stumble, and I do mean stumble considering the disaster area that is my room, to my bathroom. I gaze into the mirror and think “Oh dear Jesus.” I’m getting wrinkles in between my eyebrows…no doubt from giving a million “hairy eyeballs.” It is just not pretty. I used to LOVE to do my makeup, now it’s become more of a chore than anything. I’m using the same old shades, despite the fact that I just bought four packs of new eyeshadows. If I could be like the cast of Jersey Shore and wear my sunglasses indoors, I’m certain it would brighten my mood.

And don’t get me started on my wardrobe. I have fell into the “wear it because it’s comfortable” phase. We’re talking hair up in a ponytail, jeans, t-shirt (the “of-the-Hanes-variety” with something ironed-on it…whether it be “Savannah,” my B.S. shirt, or my Cow-tipping shirt, really, they’re all the same), and flip-flops.

And the uglies hasn’t just stopped with my wardrobe, hair, and makeup…it’s attacked my (gulp) social skills as well. FOR example, I have a magnet inside of me that attracts people with problems. And, I have a neon sign that flashes “I care” when these people come near me. Need I remind you of the lady that showed me her tax bill and complained to me about how her property taxes were done all wrong. –Mind you, I still work at the Journal and have NO IDEA how any of this related to me-- Then, she told me how she was going to strike it big selling concrete molds to make garden gnomes. Anywho, back to my point…I can’t even PRETEND to care anymore. I can’t carry on mindless babble (aka small talk) conversations.

It’s bad. Really bad. Let’s hope this case of the uglies goes away soon.

Oh, on a happy note, I DID get my ears pierced again last weekend. Now that the stinging has stopped, I am quite pleased with the outcome. Now I have 3 holes in one ear and 2 in the other. So I can check that off my to-do list.

BTW, considering the state I’m in and the cluelessness on attire currently, What in heck would you wear to a Fiddlin’ Concert??

Yes, I, Aleta Kaylee, will be attending the Fiddlin’ Concert tomorrow night. What to wear?...What to wear?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Turning two and Poh-ta-bots

Well, y’all, one of my favorite little people turned 2 today :)

At first sight, Miss Allie Claire Mizell had me wrapped around her little finger. I felt as antsy as the family probably felt days before she was born. Which is funny, because up until then, I had never really liked kids. I just couldn’t wait to meet this little girl. I can remember Carrie bringing her into the Journal just days after she was born and my. heart. was. won.

...And don't get me started on when she told me "I La You" or when she called me "Leeeeeda, Leeeeeeda." Blessed my heart!

One of the perks of my job would definitely have to be getting to see Allie Claire and Gus and getting to hear all the funny stories about them. I know that my friends probably get sick of hearing all the stories, especially since most of them have never met the famous duo. I think pretty much everything those two do is just darling or the funniest thing ever. What can I say? I’m the smitten “adopted” Aunt. :)

Is this purse cute or what??

Well, this year, while looking on the Vera Bradley site, I found something that Miss Allie Claire certainly could not live without. The cutest little purse ever! I also found her some hair bows and Little Critter book (I LOVE the Little Critter Series), a gift card to Chick-Fil-A after I heard of her recent French fry addiction :) and a Dora the Explorer sticker book. Boy, she seemed thrilled with the stickers. She even decorated Mr. John’s check book binder…I’m sure he’ll chuckle when he sees Dora and Boots all over it on Monday.

Amazed with the 276 Dora and Boots Stickers :)

Later on, she went searching for her hair bows, and wanted several in her hair. Carrie was busy on the phone, so I wanted to entertain myself…I mean her. Hehe. First, she wanted the pink one…then the “Poh-ta-bot one”…How cute is that?!!!

Then, the little Miss decided she wanted to talk on the phone. Doesn’t she look like a good secretary??--Please note the sippy cup in her hand. To that I would like to say "Darlin', sometimes I want to drink at work too..." haha.

I hope that Miss Allie has the most wonderful birthday ever and I hope that she knows that she is a very special, very loved, little girl.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Cold-hearted morons

Well, y’all, I’m aggravated. Once again. This afternoon, I opened my email up and one of the headlining news articles was about the people that protest soldiers’ funerals. I don’t know about y’all…but just the thought of that INFURIATES me.

In the pictures that went with the article, they stand there, across from the church or funeral and hold signs saying “Thank God for dead soldiers,” “God hates America,” and “Thank God for IEDs.” OMG! It makes me SO angry!!!! They hide behind their “Freedom of Speech.” Yes, sure, you have your right to free speech. HOWEVER, I don’t feel that you have the right to protest a funeral. What are you accomplishing anyways?? And what kind of person would do that? How can you not feel sympathy for a family that has just lost their son/daughter/sibling/relative/friend, because they chose to fight for our country?

In closing this rant, let me mention two things: Do they not realize that the First Amendment that is protecting them, was brought into place because soldiers fought and DIED for us to have the freedom that we do have? AND If they think that God hates America so much, why are they still here???

Frankly, my dears, I believe we’re dealing with a bunch of cold-hearted morons here.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The misery of wallowing...

I don’t know about y’all, but I have the hardest time letting things go.

To give you a brief intro to this blog, I’ve been in a funk the last couple of weeks. Though it’s not too different when I’m in a good mood, there has been: an excessive amount of eye-rolling at customers, smart remarks, an overwhelming sense of blah, and a general befuddled daze here-recently. I can’t sleep, I can’t relax, and I can’t study. (BTW, I’m trying SO hard to study for the GRE, which I will be taking next Wednesday afternoon…so this presents a problem).

I don’t know if this has ever happened for you. Have you ever prayed and asked God for something, He answers, and you’re still not happy? You have the best intentions when asking for God to take it from you, but when He does, you’re left empty?

I have been dealing with this since probably April. I know that this was for the best, I know it. But honestly, my heart wants to believe that it’s not. What girl hasn’t dealt with the struggle between her heart and her head?

HOWEVER, I’ve just “begrudgingly” started a bible study with some lovely ladies at church. I only say “begrudgingly” because when I was reminded that my friend had signed me up (a/k/a I had completely forgotten about it), my GRE studying was well underway, and I began to panic on how I would find the time. I’ve managed to squeeze it in, and I’m very happy that I have.

God has a sense of humor. Ironically the Beth Moore study “A woman’s heart” is JUST what I needed to be studying. I’m only on week 2, but …Wow. Moses had led the Israelites out of Egypt and they were having to rely on God to find their way, for food, for water. Every time, God provided. Nevertheless, after being given food and water, they complained because it wasn’t “as good” as the food that they had had in Egypt. I began to feel sheepish while reading it. I, too, had asked God for something. He has listened, and made a way…yet, I am still complaining.

There was another thing that really stood out to me this week. God will heal the brokenhearted, but often times, the brokenhearted person isn’t willing to cooperate. Ummm…Amen? I wanted so bad to have this situation “fixed,” but I’m still wallowing. And I do mean wallowing…we’re talking the kind of mood that shopping and ice cream can’t fix. The kind of wallowing that makes me hit repeat on a sad song over and over and causes crying in the shower (don't pretend like you haven't done this,

I won’t say that this will end overnight, there’s a lot inside of me that needs to mend, but I need to try. God took this stumbling block from my life...and did it in a way that was graceful and only He could do. I need to have faith that this is God’s will. He is going to help me get through this, mend my broken heart, and show me the path I need to take. I’m in good hands (different from the Allstate commercial lol), and I need to trust that AND cooperate.

Friday, September 17, 2010

I have found a photographer!!

Ok, so, if you read the post about my Mid-Twenties Meldown List ( y’all know that I wanted to have professional photos taken. Though it may seem vain…I’m tellin’ y’all what, it seems like I can never have a good photo taken. Whether it be a church directory photo or just a photo taken with friends, I’m always the odd one in the picture. They either catch me with my unflattering arm fat shining dead center in the picture, or they catch me with my eyes closed. (Oh, and who can forget the picture of me cracking up with my double chin showing.) Either way, I’m in a photo with beautiful, photogenic people and yet I look like the girl that gave Juno the stink eye in the movie. :)

So, I’ve been on the hunt for a photographer. I have NO idea why this person didn’t pop into my mind until yesterday. Amanda Cannon is my friend on facebook, and I look at her photos all the time. I wanted to share her websites with you guys. She has some BEAUTIFUL photos. As I was looking through the pictures last night I was amazed. Here are two of my favorites, but y’all should look through the albums, there’s not one photo that isn’t wonderful:

Pickin’ Peas:

Wrangler baby:

I’ve set up a photo shoot for November for myself. But if any of you would like to get in touch with Amanda Cannon, you can call her at 354-577-4034 or email her at But I do hope that y’all will take a minute to look at her website:

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Reason #4,380 why Aleta doesn't need to be in Customer Service

I will gladly admit that I am not the World’s best when it comes to the customer service department. I’ll even tell you that sometimes, I’m just plain mean.

That being said, I would like to state here that if you ACT LIKE AN IDIOT, I will treat you like you’re stupid.

Here are some examples of the phone calls that I’ve had this morning:

Me: “Gilchrist County Journal, how can I help you?”

Dummy 1: “I need to speak with someone about placing an ad.”

Me: “I may can help you with that, what do you need…”

--We discuss pricing/how to submit the ad—

Dummy 1: “Y’all are located in Gilchrist County, right?”

Me: “Ummm….yes.”


No, dumb butt, we are actually located in Dixie County, we just call it The Gilchrist County Journal for the heck of it.

Phone Convo 2:

Me: “Gilchrist County Journal, how can I help you?”

Dummy 2: This is _____ from the __________ law office. I need your legal department.”

Me: --already irritated because they call us ALL THE TIME about stupid stuff. Seriously, at least 5 times a week. “I can help you with that, what did you need?”

Dummy 2: “I need to know a sale date for Case No: ________”

Me: “Ummmm….ok.” I look it up, growing more irritated. I have a brief discussion with Chris about how idiotic these people are.

Me: “Ma’am, it’s October the __ at ___ a.m. And can I ask you a question…(no need to really wait for an answer, seeing as how I’m going to ask anyways) Isn’t this YOUR case? Don’t YOU submit the legal with the date of the sale on it? Or are you at least in communication with the Courthouse?”

Dummy 2: (stutters) “Well, yes, but sometimes the Clerk just puts that on the legal notice and sends it to your paper without telling us the date.”

Me: “Ok, I (might could,…though I seriously doubt it) understand this. But why didn’t you call the Courthouse (sorry, Lyndsay!)? I just wouldn’t think with needing to know a sale date, why you would call our office OVER the courthouse?”

Dummy 2: “Uhhhhh….I’m sorry.”

On the Law Office note, sometimes they call and ask me who the defendants were…I’m like “IT’S YOUR CASE!!!”

It’ll drive a person batty!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Week 2 with Miss Genealogy

I call her that, just because of last week’s post. Actually, this week she didn’t ask questions about my family tree…she asked about my marital status.

Picture it…

We’re sitting in the Sunday School room, talking about Moses… Out of nowhere, Miss G asks me and Sam how old we are. I say 24, Sam says 23.

She looks at us shocked. With a very serious face, Miss G says, “Y’all should be married by now!”

Sam says “Don’t we know it,” and then goes into Sunday School teacher-mode and talks about how God hasn’t sent the right guys into our life, yada-yada. All I can do is laugh hysterically.

Miss G gets out of her seat, as I’m laughing and pats me on the back and says “Why are you laughing? It’s sad.”

I start cracking up again.

Lord, I’m in for it this year…this girl is a hoot!

Monday, August 30, 2010

My new Sunday school class

I was introduced to my new Sunday school class yesterday. This was actually the second week with the new 3rd graders, but I missed last week because I was out of town. So, this was MY first week with them. To say we have a few characters is putting it mildly.

As we were beginning class a little girl interrupted Sam and pointed to me. She said, “I have a question…What is your name?” I answered her. Then she asked, “Who are your parents?” I tell her. She started racking her brain trying to figure out people she knew with the last name Sheffield. “Are you related to that lady that works at school that’s a helper?” “Are you related to so-n-so Watson?” “Oooh, you’re related to the Arringtons?! Are you related to Mr. Junior?” She was full-on wanting my pedigree, y’all. Too funny. You could tell she was a Southerner!

I think that this year will be better than last year. Last year’s kids were a hoot too, but it was hard coming into it during the middle of the year and trying to get them adjusted to a new routine and all. So, I do hope that it runs smoother last year.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Fall, Fall, will you ever get here??

As we are in the midst of the Dog Days of summer, it has been hot (when the sun was actually shining), muggy, nasty, wet, …and of course, HUMID.

My hair is hating this weather. I got it cut last week, and have only been able to really style it once. This damp nastiness that has been our weather now for an entire couple of weeks now has completely ruined my hair. I walk around looking like I have a white woman ‘fro. It’s terrible, I tell ya.

So, that being said, I would like to discuss something far more pleasant…Fall.

Fall is my favorite time of the year. From September to the end of November, I am in heaven.

Things that Fall brings…

1. Better weather. (Can I get an Amen??) Cooler weather. Cannot wait.

2. The desire to scrapbook and watch HGTV. I don’t know why it is, but my desire for both of these things is exponentially amplified during the fall months.

3. Pumpkins. I LOVE Pumpkins. I love decorations, centerpieces, etc with them, and I love to eat pumpkin. Pumpkin pies, pumpkin cake and my new favorite cake “Pumpkin Hallelujer” (said in true Madea fashion).

4. Better clothes. The ¾ length over shirts being my favorite. Jeans, another big favorite. Some may say, “Why couldn’t you wear them during the summer?” One simple response, “I sweat like a menopausal woman.” I don’t why it is, but over at my desk seems to be the hottest place in the Journal. I seem to be hot all the time.

5. The Warm colors. Reds, oranges, deep purple, yellows. I love them all.

Now that I am practically drooling thinking about fall, I’d better end this.

Dear Fall,

Please come soon. Summer is about to get the best of me.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

"Only me"

You know those weeks when everything seems to go wrong? I’m glad that I still have a smile on my face after all of it.

Picture it…

Tuesday, I went home to comfort Karter Lee. Laugh if you will, but this dog is terrified of thunder and storms. It was raining pretty hard, and she was home alone, so I figured I’d go home to have lunch. I walked into our kitchen to find that Karter Lee had went “dumpster diving” while we were all at work. It was one of those times where you shut your eyes for a minute, hoping that the magical powers of Samantha from Bewitched had suddenly been bestowed upon you. I tried blinking it away, to no avail.

It took me 15 minutes to pick up the trash that she had strung all over our dining room and kitchen. Strips of plastic, banana peels, yogurt containers, paper plates, Ziploc bags, Walmart bags, everything you can imagine. After I cleaned up the mess, my arm hit a little porcelain dish that mom had on the counter, and it fell onto the floor, along with all of its contents. Fun times.

I came home later with intentions of sweeping the floor and swiffering. I cleaned the floors then, broke out the vacuum. Somehow, while I was vacuuming, the cord caught the dog water dish that was next to our bookshelf in the dining room. It spilled all over the floor, some of which seeped into the living room carpet.

Just as soon as I cleaned up THAT mess, I realize that even though I had put clothes in the washer, the washer wasn’t running. I went out to investigate. The washer had filled with water, but hadn’t started. I flipped it off, then, back on. Nothing. I slammed the lid down, (which has worked in the past) nothing. What a nightmare. Mom came home and checked it out too. We thought that maybe something had hung up underneath. So, we pulled all the sopping wet clothes out of the washer (Did I mention that, of course, it was a HUGE load?), there was nothing underneath it.

Our “fix-it” man came by yesterday. He said that he could get the part that was needed to fix it, but it would be next Tuesday before he could get back to it. Great, I thought. Meanwhile, we had a load of still-wet clothes lying in a plastic tub that were now starting to smell (we had forgotten about them, to be honest, after the initial failed attempt at trying to get the washer to work). Then, I got an idea.

I couldn’t let our clothes sour. So, I thought I would fill the tubs with water, put a little detergent in them and let the clothes soak like they did in the old days. Not that hard, right?? Wrong. I soaked, pushed around, soaked, pushed around. As I was almost done wringing them out, mom came out and said “You know, we could’ve taken those to the Laundromat.” Are you kidding me? Why the hell hadn’t I thought of that?? It never crossed my mind.

I had to laugh at myself. I’m not going to be worth shooting today, my arms are so sore after wringing out what seemed to be 75 items of clothes.

I hadn’t felt that stupid since I was doing my very first billing at the Journal. I was so timid when I first started there. I know, I am a far cry from that girl now. I hated to even ask small questions, I was new and intimidated. I just didn’t want to mess anything up. That being said, after I had printed off probably 300 invoices, I was ready to put them in envelopes and mail them off. I seriously licked 300 envelopes. Three hundred. When I was finishing up the last few, Mr. John brought an envelope moistener over and put it on my desk without saying a word. Holy Moley. I must’ve given him the look that was a cross between mortified and NOW YOU BRING THIS TO ME! Lol. I still have to laugh about that.

Some advice Girls, always look at the big picture. Sometimes “walk-in-out-of-the-rain” sense is better than book smarts (a department that I’m sometimes lacking in). And never, ever be too afraid to ask for an envelope moistener.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mid-Twenties Meltdown list

As mentioned in a post written last week, I am dead in the middle of my mid-twenties meltdown. Lol. There is so much I want to do and see and it’s been about to drive me nuts recently. I went to see the movie Eat Pray Love the other night with my friend KW. That movie is amazing. Just as soon as I could, I bought a copy of the book. I haven’t had the chance to get really far into it yet…but Elizabeth Gilbert is so easy to relate to. I won’t go all into it, because I highly recommend that y’all see this movie and read this book, but I’ll tell you something brief. After a messy, lengthy divorce and a bad break-up, she was left searching for something. Actually, she had been searching for something while tangled up in the divorce and break-up. She turns to God and she travels to Italy, India, and Indonesia. As mentioned above, this movie was amazing and inspiring, I’m sure the book will be as well.

I had been talking for the past few weeks to my friend Krystle about my latest revelation (also mentioned in a previous post)…the one about wanting to get out and do more. I’d been telling her places I wanted to visit and things I wanted to do. No worries, here, I won’t be traveling to Italy, India, or Indonesia, although they all looked beautiful. Last night, I compiled a list. Some are silly, some you will be like “why haven’t you just done this?” but it’s my list, nonetheless.

Mid-Twenties Meltdown List

-Take the time to get more involved in church again and start studying my Bible again.

-Get my ears pierced again.

-Learn to dance.

-Dance in the rain (Simple, I realize. But I need to first learn how to dance so people don’t see and think “OMG! That mentally challenged girl is having a seizure!”

-Learn better etiquette.

-Have professional photos taken (I rarely, RARELY like any pictures taken of me…So, to have nice ones done, would be great. And I don’t mean like the church, over-posed photos where they always catch me at the wrong angle. For instance, they will catch my double chin AND my arm flab flapping. Plus, they always make you stick your chin out at a really weird angle, where your neck may snap or you look like you need to be in a neck brace.).

-Write a book. I know that a lot of people say “oh, I should write a book.” But actually, this is something that I am passionate about and am trying to do.

-I want to learn to speak Italian and possibly Cajun French. My mama asked me the other night “Why Italian? Why not Spanish?” Spanish is practical and all, but my response was this “I DON’T want to understand what the field hands are saying while congregated in front of Walmart, looking at every woman that passes by.”

-I want to take more art, history, and humanities classes.

-Search for a career that WONT make me miserable in 10 years.

-Take a yoga class. Here, I question if I’m going crazy. The serenity and stress-management appeals to me with yoga. However, though I am pretty flexible, I have seen some of those poses, and I wonder if I (being the uncoordinated klutz I am) would be able to swing it. I tried one (after I had bought a book on yoga poses), and I couldn’t balance, and fell flat on my face.

-Make a drastic change. I have yet to decide what I want the change to be. I just want people to see and go “wow.”

-Let go. I want to be more willing to let go of my inhibitions and let go of my anger, resentments, and past bitterness. The other day, I compared myself to an aunt of mine. She passed away a few years ago, but when she died, she died a bitter, mean woman. I don’t want to ever get to that place. That really does scare me.

Places I want to visit

(Have I mentioned that I work with two women that absolutely love to travel?? Seeing and hearing their travel tales, only makes my longing to travel worse. :-D )

I want to go to Savannah again. I’ve been once, and I fell in love with it. I love seeing all the historic buildings, walking River Street, hearing the history of the town.

I want to go to the Beach Music Festival in Jekyll Island. They apparently have shag dance lessons. (which I have wanted to learn how to do since the first time I saw the movie “The Shag.”…can I get a Southern girl amen?)

Speaking of which, I want to go to Myrtle Beach.

New Orleans

St. Augustine. I’ve been a few times, but I haven’t gotten to spend much time exploring the city.

Charleston—Again, I’ve been, but didn’t get to take it all in. We went there for church camp.

Salem, just because of the history.


I want to take an unmapped road trip. Just go wherever we feel like, with no plans and no reservations. Try new restaurants, see new towns, etc.

I want to go up to maybe Northern Georgia or Northern Alabama and see the leaves in the fall.

This is my mid-twenties meltdown list as of right now. Hopefully, I will start checking things off of it, and adding more too it.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Sweet Kenzie Mae

This was a very sad weekend in the Sheffield house. My sister had to make the decision to have our little Kenzie Mae put down Saturday morning.

She had been doing better, she had been gaining weight and the tumor had shrunk…we knew that eventually there would be problems (the tumor was inoperable), but it seemed like she was doing so much better. I went to see a movie with my friend KW on Friday night, when I got home at 1:30 my mom was sitting up and said that she was worried about Kenzie. Kenzie just sat there, she wouldn’t get up, we couldn’t get her to drink anything and by the time I had gotten my shower and was ready to get in bed she had thrown up her supper. I knew that she was really sick, so I laid beside her and petted her until about 3 or 4 (when I finally went to bed). At about 7:30, I woke up to hearing her panting all the way across the house. Her little heart was racing, and her breath was really shallow. My sister took her to the vet’s office at 9 when it opened. The vet that was there hadn’t been the one to see her or the one that had done the surgery on her, but she had known and had heard about Kenzie’s tumor. She, too, was amazed at how bad she had gotten so quickly. The change was almost overnight. She said that she really felt like it was a rapidly-growing, cancerous tumor and that it had probably inched itself up to Kenzie’s heart and had caused fluid to build up. That was why the downhill spiral had happened so fast. She was very compassionate according to my mom and Rheba.

It has been a rough weekend. The house feels very empty. Both Karter Lee and Sassy both watched the door and looked for her when she didn’t come home. My dad has said over and over that he was shocked that this had happened to dog so young, and he “wouldn’t have had this happen for anything in the world.” It broke my mama’s heart, too. She’s been the one getting up with Kenzie every hour during the night the last several weeks, taking her out, and tending to her. We’ve just been trying to keep Rheba occupied, but I will admit, the sadness hits you when you come home and don’t see her running up to greet you.

I will say here that I never thought I would be such an animal lover, but sometimes pets just come in and touch your heart. There have been times in this past year that I have been upset and Kenzie would come up, demanding to be petted. After loving on her a bit, I would feel a little bit better. She has made us laugh in the hard times. Such as the time she came bounding into our living room, hit the standing fan, bounced off and bit Rheba’s toe (as if it had been the one to hit her). She will be greatly missed.

Dad contacted the breeder that we had gotten Kenzie from, and he was shocked as well. He has a chocolate lab puppy right now that’s 3 ½ months old that he’s offered to Rheba. We’re going to go get her tomorrow night. Rheba’s already picked out a name….Kymber Lynn. She will never be able to replace the Kenz, but maybe she’ll make our house feel a lively again.

Here are some pictures of Kenzie Mae. She will be remembered forever, and greatly missed.

Kenzie Mae when we first got her a year ago.

I just thought this was a sweet picture.

The Crazy way Kenzie would sleep

Kenzie Mae and Karter Lee, big buds

They have daddy wrapped around their paws :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Meet Leeto Cognito the FB police

Ok, I promised someone that I would post a blog about “rules” for facebook (or really any other friend/sharing site) after this weekend’s events. I would like to say here that I absolutely love fb, it gives you opportunities to stay connected with old friends, see photos of their kids, share photos, plan events, etc. etc. I love it. However, me being the easily-irritated (slightly hostile) person that I am, I’ve come up with a few rules that I think every fb member should adhere to.

1. For crying out loud, don’t put other people’s information out there for all the world to see. Have you no common sense? I am not going to disclose the information that was given to me (by the person that asked me to write this blog), but I’ll touch the situation. Say a friend calls and asks you a personal question. You give them the answer because you think it will help them, and because of the content, you think that the conversation will stay between you two. You later go on fb to read “Well, So-n-so said….” Really? I mean, you were too embarrassed to plaster the question you had on your wall, why on earth would you think that posting a friend’s answer would be ok??

2. One of my biggest hang-ups, by far, is reading the same thing, day-in and day-out on people’s statuses. –I will put here that if you are counting down to your husband coming home from the military or something, that is sweet, and this doesn’t apply to that-- (The worst, in my opinion) Example: “Day one of my P90X. It’s awesome!” next day… “Day two of my P90X. I’m really feeling it. It’s so awesome.” Next day… “Day three. P90X is so great. I love it.” --Ok. I don’t give a damn about P90X or how well you are doing with it. If you love it, that’s great…I hope that it works for you. I just don’t want to hear about it all. the. time. FB statuses aren’t meant to be used as infomercials. Another thing, while I’m on this… Don’t use lyrics to songs as all your statuses. Especially if it’s the SAME stupid song. Every single day. Monotony is boring. Try to spice it up. I swear to goodness, someone used the lyrics to “Smile” by Uncle Kracker for like 2 weeks, every stinkin’ day. Every time my home page popped up, there was that stupid song. And the thing was…I liked the song before that. Not now. I will say here, before I sound like a complete hypocrite, that I’ve done some of the same statuses before…but I would catch myself doing it and think “people don’t care…”

3. Grammar, spelling, etc. -- Texting is going to be the ruin of spelling/grammar/punctuation. I am certain of that. As a friend of mine just pointed out, there is a difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re”…and they are NOT INTERCHANGEABLE. My hang-up is the sentences that go on and on with no punctuation marks. Ex: I’m going to the mall omg the vera Bradley purses are so cute I’m thinking about getting one but I’m not sure if mama will let me I hope she does though btw I’m loving Mike he’s the cutest boy ever and the best boyfriend y’all should be jealous. …….WTH? My eyes cross when I read posts like this. Use a period! Use a question mark! Have you ever heard of a comma?

4. I get invitations all the time. “Aleta, will you be my neighbor on Farmville?” “Help so-n-so raise their barn.” I don’t want to help you raise a damn barn. I’m not going to help you locate your missing cow. I’m not going to feed your stupid fish. Lol. Stop sending me invites!

These are my fb pet peeves of the moment.

Until next time….

Leeto Cognito

Supervisor of the FB “you’re annoying as H” department