I know that I’m not in the right mindset tonight, and therefore should not be blogging. And I’ll probably regret a million times that I’ve posted this for all the world to see but I’m going to do it anyways.
I’ve had my mama give me a hard time for a while about having her a grandbaby. Nevermind the fact that there is no guy in the picture…she just wants a grandkid. And I understand her point, a lot of the women her age already have a few grandkids…she just seems to have a slacker as a daughter. After my mama had cancer, I cannot tell y’all the kind of guilt that I felt for not having a child at a young age for her to enjoy. That thought was always in my head. Not that I was ready to have a child, but I felt a lot of guilt because of it. She got better and I thought “whew, I have time…”
Last week, I had a guy who loves to give me a hard time come in the Journal. After picking on me for like 10 minutes he made the statement “Well, I know now why you aren’t married.” Kidding or not, I wanted to say “You don’t know crap about my personal life, so shut the hell up.”
Tonight was the kicker. I had someone tell my mama that it might give some people close to me something to live for if I would get with the program already and have a baby.
There’s probably no sense in telling y’all that this is a sore subject. The comment tonight really hurt, though.
On a side note, I’m asking y’all to say a little prayer for my family. We’re having a hard time right now, and can use all the prayers we can get.