My Fellow Travelers

I am downright giddy with the excitement of a trip upon me. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now!!! It has been far too long since I have packed my bags and just took off. I am definitely one of those “planner” types; as much as I’d love to be spontaneous and go here, there, and everywhere…it’s just not in me. I need to at least semi-plan. This trip has been a bit of a chore for me. I had dates set, I had turned in my PLT form, my bags are practically begging for me to over-stuff them (as I tend to pack three times as much as I actually need)…and yet, you know what is missing? A location. Originally, the plan had been to go into Alabama, possibly Mississippi and tool around. However, Georgia and the Carolinas beckon…so in a little while, we will be off to Savannah (this will be Rheba’s first time in Savannah…yes, I know, the heavens just opened up and I can hear the Hallelujah chorus), we will also take in Charleston, Myrtle Beach, and possibly Wilmington. I am trying oh-so-hard NOT to have everything planned down to the minute. But I would like to ask any of you who have frequented these areas: Is there anything that we absolutely must do in any of these towns? Being the eternal foodie, are there any restaurants that we shouldn’t miss? Sights? Museums? Are there any other cities along the coast that I simply must not miss? Our last trip primarily consisted of a big shopping weekend (as it rained during most of our stay in Fernandina). I would kind of like to not shop the entire time during this trip and take in more of history, sights, etc. I was fortunate enough to go to Savannah a few years ago, and I loved it…so I’m looking forward to returning there. I have been to Charleston, but it was during M-Fuge, and we didn’t get to see much of the city. As for Myrtle Beach and Wilmington…I am at a complete loss. Whatever advice y’all have for me would be greatly appreciated.

Fall into Fabulousness.

Tonight, I got an email from Pinterest saying that my friend Naomi had tagged me in a comment. When I went to the pin, it said “If you look in the mirror and say “pumpkin spice latte” three times, a white suburban girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you everything she loves about Fall.” First off...I liketa died. How true is that? I’m a white girl, yoga pants are my favorite, and I LOVE FALL. I love the color orange. I love when the leaves change. I love boots. I love scarves. I love hoodies. I love cuddling. I love sitting by the fire. I love EVERYTHING pumpkin. I love hot chocolate. I love when Bath and Body works comes out with the fall scents. I love football games. I love the promise of a change every fall. I love the smell of fall.... Lol. It’s time for a contest, y’all. Ok, so, is it odd that I’d picked out a prize for this contest before I’d established what I wanted the contest to be? Lol. Here is what I’m looking for: I want you to submit a photo that is the epitome of Fall, in your eyes. It could be a picture of a landscape. It could be a picture of an interesting old house. Hell, it could be a photo taken at a football game. I'm so excited to see what Fall is to y'all! I have a muse board of things that remind me of places and times to inspire me to write...and I am dying to have some Fall pics to add to my muse board. --- The prize: Some of Aleta’s favorite things... I promise, if you’re a girl...and you like girly girl stuff...this is right up your alley. Some of the items in the prize basket include: my all-time favorite lip gloss (Urban Decay Lip Junkie), Lauren Conrad earrings, a unique and super cute headband:), one of my favorite books, and some other goodies that I haven't decided upon just yet :) The deadline: November 15th. I want everyone to participate...so guys, if you so should choose, I’m sure the girl in your life would be thrilled to get the prize. How to submit? Email me on facebook...or email me at missmargarita8604@yahoo.com. Y’all get to submittin’ :)

Celebrating Cornbread

Tomorrow is my daddy’s birthday. And I cannot believe that he’s been gone almost two years now. Time is passing so quickly, it’s hard to believe. Rather than having a blog post that talks about how much I miss him, and Lord knows I miss him, I thought this would be a great time to do a compilation of his funny quotes, and his funny stories. I will add a little disclaimer about some of the pictures...as you will notice, many of the pictures I post are of him without a shirt. He did, in fact, own shirts, lol, he just preferred not to wear them when lounging around at home. So if my pictures offend you, I’m sorry. So here goes: Cornbread on driving: “If you wouldn’t have had your radio up that loud, you wouldn’t have had that flat tire.” “If you drive 45 mph everywhere, you’ll save on gas.” “Aleta, in the last two weeks you got a speeding ticket and hit a parked car...that doesn’t speak too well does it?” (Talking about a certain somebody driving a porta-potty truck): “She drives that shit truck like it’s a firetruck headed to a fire!” His favorite story about his slow driving: “There I was, driving the inmate van to Itchetucknee, and we went through the School Zone. That crossing guard always hated to see me coming. The school zone was 15 mph, so of course I went 5. There that lady stood, waving her hands for me to go faster, yelling “keep going, c’mon!” The inmates just laughed. Now, if any of y’all ever got behind my dad while driving, you’d have known it... He was one of the only people that could make church members cuss both going to and coming from church. And Lord knows you didn’t pass him. I did once. I had had it. He was going 30 the whole way home, I’m sure just for my benefit, and I’d just had it. So I sped past him... which led to this statement when he made it home: “Aleta, you drive like a bat outta hell.” What? Because I went the 55 speed limit? :) Cornbread on idiots: “He’s not the sharpest knife in the tool shed.” Cornbread on Dental Hygiene: While watching his favorite show “Hee-Haw” one night on tv, he took out his dentures and started cleaning them. As I watched him eyeing his teeth, he looked over at me and said “My God, I think I’ve got a cavity.” If you can’t say anything nice, come sit by Cornbread: We used to have a lady, (bless her heart), that we were around that thought she could sing. The only real way I can describe the voice is: Tammy Wynette on crack. Well, dad, any time this lady would get up to sing, would look over to my cousin’s wife, Jodi. And she’d try as hard as she could not NOT look at him. And just as soon as she did, those big eyes of his would near ‘bout roll back in his head. I must say here, that I’ve nearly got “that” look down-pat now ;) After Easter service, as soon as he walked in the door: “That ugly little girl made fun of my overalls. Hell, you’d have to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her...and she made fun of my overalls.” “She’s good people. She’s a burnt out pothead, but she’s good people.” Honesty IS the best policy: We had an Evangelist visit our church multiple times. Now, dad was not the fondest of this man, and normally, if he knew he was coming, dad would just go to Sunday School and then head home...but he actually sat through his sermon one Sunday. Towards the end of the service, the Evangelist asked the congregation who was planning to come back that Sunday evening. A majority of the church dutifully raised their hands. Then, the Evangelist asked the congregation who was planning not to attend that evening. I looked over at dad, as he was hard to miss, as he raised his hand high towards the heavens, the only hand raised in the whole congregation. Nope, he sure wasn’t planning on coming back that evening. Cornbread on the War on Drugs: During a dinner party...with church-going family friends...in the middle of dinner....out of the blue: “You know...we just need to legalize marijuana...I mean, we’re just losin’ this whole war on drugs.” Cornbread on alcohol: At the New Year’s Eve party at my Aunt’s house, to Jarrod who was pouring him sparkling grape juice: “Now, this doesn’t have any alcohol in it, right? I don’t want to get drunk.” Someone told him that a sip or two of wine might help when he woke up with muscle cramps, so we had some in the house. He tried this trick, he had maybe two sips. Here was the conversation that ensued the next morning: Mom: “So, Jackie, did the wine help the cramps last night?” Dad: “Not really, it just made me drunk.” Cornbread on healthcare: To a nurse, after he’d been kept on a liquid diet for two days: “I know what y’all are doin’...y’all are gettin’ me all slim and trim so I’m casket sharp.” After giving the stink eye to a nurse, after dad was returned to his room after a minor surgery: “Cindi, you would not believe where they had me!! You would not believe where they did my surgery. They had me in the woodshed out back.” Walking in one morning to one mad Cornbread...sitting there with his arms crossed, his eyes rolling..... “Dad, did you sleep okay?” (insert eyeroll) “Hell no. They put me in here with him (as he points to his roommate), and he had his tv going wide ass open all night.” Cornbread on Politics: “You know who I’m writing in on my ballot? Willie Nelson. He’d get rid of the IRS and he’d legalize marijuana.” Cornbread on a balanced diet: “I need to start eating better. I do. (As he sorts through the plate put in front of him) Now, who wants this banana. I don’t want that crap.” “I don’t like grape popsicles. They make me burp.” Cornbread on Foreigners “You know those people from England that can’t speak good English?” Cornbread on Religion: This conversation happened while awaiting surgery, to determine whether he would accept a blood transfusion if needed: Nurse: “Sir, are you Jehovah’s Witness?” Dad: “Hell no! I’m Baptist.” Cornbread on phone etiquette: I cannot tell you how many times in my life I’ve heard my dad answer the phone “Well, hey you big dummy.” To telemarketers: “Don’t you ever call our house and wake me up on a Saturday again!” “Hell no, we’re not interested.” When the Pizza Hut Delivery man hadn’t come within an hour’s time, on the phone with Pizza Hut: “Well, thank God that boy wasn’t driving an Ambulance.” Cornbread on Work Ethic: “I lovvvvve my job.” (I think that this one...by far...was his favorite saying, ever.) Truth be told, my daddy provided me the funniest material to write with. For those of you that were blessed enough to be around him, you knew how funny he was. There are so many things, so many funny memories that pop into my mind every day. My mom, Rheba and I were truly blessed to be “Jackie’s Girls.” He brightened our lives with his dramatic flair and always put a crazy spin on any situation. I miss him terribly, but you know what? Laughter has always been what got me through anything hard. This year on his birthday, I want to celebrate his life, not mourn our loss. I want to laugh at his memory. I want to remember him in his best possible form. If you have any funny memories, I encourage you to post them. I would love to read them!

The Great Sheffield Pancake Incident

I am a foodie. My hips do not lie. I also, on occasion, will throw down and act like a bit of a bitchy princess. I will also admit, that I am a bit irrational at times. Some may even argue a little insane. And I may not dispute that point, because I might…somewhat…sometimes agree… But, hell, I am a woman, after all. It just stands to reason that I may, at times, become irrational…especially when booze, food, or social media are involved. Another fun, little fact about me would be that when I wake up from what I call one of my “coma naps,” people need not try to reason with me…or even talk to me…for about an hour. I needn’t have conversations, drive a car, handle heavy equipment, bake, or try and talk someone off a ledge during that “coming back to reality” hour…because bad things will happen. So, that is the little backstory as to how Great Pancake Incident transpired. Fast-forward to Tuesday, 3 p.m.— I call mom while I’m at work and ask her if we can have pancakes for dinner. While I am normally NOT a breakfast-for-dinner type-gal, I had the biggest hankering for pancakes. Well, pancakes and Nutella to be exact. Mom said she’d think on it. I should probably mention here that I do none of the cooking at our house. While I would like to think that I am a skilled baker, I absolutely HATE cooking. I hate it. So there I sit…for two long, painstaking hours thinking about my pancakes. Nutella and pancakes? HEAVEN. I go home, and decide to take a little siesta after my oh-so-long day. Fast-forward two hours when I awoke from my coma nap. I walk into our living room and ask mom where ol’ Smitty is. She tells me that he went to town to get some spaghetti sauce. **Insert “What the wha??”** **Insert crazy face** **Insert hostile, sleepy, foggy headed foodie** **Insert hissy fit befitting a two year-old.** **Insert statements such as: “Well, what the heck happened to my pancakes?” “Why do you constantly choose to make things I don’t eat.” “I DON’T EVEN EAT SPAGHETTI!” “Well whose idea was this??” Then the following conversation happened: Mom: “Aleta, I will make your pancakes for you.” Me: “Nooooooo. Don’t bother. Just fix your stupid spaghetti…Don’t worry about me.” Fast-forward a few minutes: One very un-happy, unsatisfied, grumpy princess sits on the couch eating Eggo chocolate chip waffles covered with Nutella, deleting certain people from her house off her facebook. Lessons learned: 1. I am a woman and I am sometimes utterly ridiculous. 2. I really hate spaghetti. 3. It’s not wise to not give a hungry, sleepy foodie what she wants. 4. Just because you live in my house does not mean you’re exempt from being deleted from my facebook friends. 5. I really wanted pancakes.

Recent Obsessions

Ok, ok…so I haven’t posted in a while. While I do have quite a bit of fodder for a few posts…I have had no, and I mean NO ambition to write here lately. In trying to get all inspired, I will go back to an old crutch…my recent obsessions. 1. As I mentioned in a Facebook status today, I am absolutely in love with the message of the Semicolon movement. Last night, I stumbled across a pin on pinterest (while scoping out tattoo ideas), of a person that had a semicolon tattooed on their wrist. The person’s whole forearm was covered in scars, where I’m assuming they had cut themselves. The message below the pin said “The self-harm semicolon. On April 16, 2013 everyone who self-harms, is suicidal, depressed, or has anxiety, is unhappy, is going through a broken heart, lost a loved one, etc. draw a semicolon on your wrist. A semicolon represents a sentence that an author could’ve ended but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.” What a powerful message to anyone who is struggling. 2. A far lighter, and more trivial, current obsession of mine would be glittery eyeliner. I came across some in the Walgreens while shopping for eye shadow to wear in a friend’s wedding in early August and have loved it ever since. 3. V8 energy (preferably in Blueberry Pomegranate). It really does give you energy and tastes yummy too. 4. I’ve mentioned this more than a couple of times. But just roll your eyes and read on…I am completely obsessed with Criminal Minds. In college, I took Forensic Psychology and Abnormal Psychology under a professor named Mr. Jeannette (you may remember him from previous stories…he’s the one that sent me to an Alcoholics Anonymous class to see how group therapy worked). Hands down, the coolest, most interesting courses I took in college. We had numerous discussions about Criminal Profiling…And truth be known, if I could handle the blood and gore, I would have hopped, skipped, and jumped right into that profession. Just ask my mama, who just took dozens of my true crime/criminal profile books off to the Good will…I love the whole process of trying to see what makes a person tick. 5. And on that same note…again, I may have mentioned this… Shemar Moore? My word! I’d have his babies. 6. My hair. Now, it took me a long while to finally take the plunge and chop my hair off--and while, it’s probably going to take me a bit to learn how to style it—I am in love. Kalyn Jerrels is AMAZING. I went home last night and tried my hair combs, my bejeweled hair clips and my headbands in it…and it all looked super cute. And the plum colored highlights, gave me a modern, fresh little pop…just in time for Fall! So, if you’re searching for a stylist, I would highly recommend Kalyn! 7. Charming Charlies…If you are close to one of these stores, I stand in amazement that you aren’t up to your eyeballs in debt. This is my new favorite store. Such cute accessories! Thank you to Carrie Mizell for telling me about it, and causing my downfall 

Unscrupulous

She always gave herself October and July to go crazy in.  October, because that’s the month she fell in love with him.  July, because it was in that month that he was taken the following year.  It was those two months that the memories seemed to be so closely tied to him.  It was then that the blistering sadness would wash over her. 

If you asked her what she missed the most about him, what would she say?  There was not one single thing about him that she could consciously say that had left the biggest void in her heart.  Maybe it was his clear green eyes that could quicken the beat of her heart while looking directly into hers.  It might just have to be the way the faintest brush of his hand on her arm could send goosebumps across her skin.  Although, his arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her into him, wasn’t the least of what she missed.  Those arms...not too tightly muscled, not too squishy were the perfect texture.  They just brought you comfort, like a cup of tea or warmly, glowing fireplace.  It was in those arms that she had truly felt secure.  Maybe it was his laugh, though.  The deep, growing laughter that came from his belly and resonated out of that perfect smile.  Perhaps it was his devilish grin that he could shoot her way from across a crowded room that would make her knees knock just the teeniest bit.  Maybe it was the fact that he could bring the sparkle back in her eyes on the dreariest of days.  Or, on the other hand, it might’ve been the memory of his lips parting against hers and being able to taste the faintest hint of tobacco and Coca Cola on them.
 
No.  All these wonderful things, these wonderful memories; and yet, she could not pinpoint what she missed most.  Not one characteristic outweighed the others.  It was truly him as a whole, his whole being, that she missed the most.  It was just him.  Her loss, losing him, had turned her into a shell of the person that she once was.  From that, she would never recover.  She was able to muster enough sincerity and graciousness to pacify the world the other ten months...but in October and in July, she just gave in.  She would always surrender herself to the pain.  It was then that she would look at the rest of the world with a glazed, confused look and say "Go to Hell."
--Aleta Kaylee

Oh for the love of Overalls

As a coworker and I were talking today, the subject of overalls came up. She told me that her uncle, who was notorious for always wearing overalls, once strolled into a Cadillac dealership. Now, he had the ability to pay, in cash, for any new Cadillac that he saw fit. The dealership salesman, noting his tattered overalls, and writing him off as some penniless hillbilly, told him that he didn’t think that they had anything that he could afford. Well, he went down the road and purchased a brand new vehicle, paying cash. Needless to say, that Cadillac dealer sure did miss out on some commission.

I really liked that story, but it reminded me of one of my own. My daddy gave me an appreciation for a man in overalls. I don’t think there’s anything sweeter than a little baby boy, or a little rough and tumble boy, or an elderly man dressed in overalls. My dad, a lover of Liberty denim overalls, would wear those everywhere. In fact, for a short while, when one or two of his pair got a little raggedy around the hem, he had Mama cut them off and make them into overall shorts. Well, thank you Jesus that trend didn’t last long. He looked awful funny sportin’ those overall shorts and brogans.

My daddy once told me, when I had big dreams of a wedding, that he was going to walk me down the aisle in his overalls. At the time, I was appalled, and said “You most certainly won’t.” I’ve got to say, what I’d give for that man to walk me down the aisle now. If he were here now, I’d even let him wear his most-favorite tattered pair of Liberty overalls.

One thing that I will always remember about my daddy was the fact that he always made it a point to wear his overalls to church every Easter. He did this as a bit of a protest. See, while all the ladies were gussyin’ up, putting on their very finest new dress, and the men were sprucing up and putting on their Sunday best, Daddy just didn’t see the point. He always felt that it didn’t matter what you wore to the House of the Lord; just as long as you went. You didn’t have to be all done up to go in and worship and pray.

Well about five years ago, there it was…Easter. Mama and Rheba were done up, and there dad was…walking into church in his overalls. Behind him were a group of young women. One of the girls said “Can you believe what that man has on??” Then they all started snickering. Well that just grated Daddy’s nerves. I remember him coming home telling me all about it, as we had drove separately.

“That girl hurt my feelings! It doesn’t matter what you wear to church! You don’t have to be dressed all snazzy to pray!...”

And then he continued with, “And that girl’s sittin’ there talking about my overalls…Look at her! She’s so ugly, you’d have to tie a damn pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her!”

Real nice coming from a man that just got out of church, right? I sure did love that man.

Lawsy, I do love a man in overalls.