Dear God, Please 4-lane that narrow road…

Ok, as I found myself in a bit of a pickle today, I thought of the hypocrite that I’ve become. As with most things, I immediately had to think of something to make me laugh, instead of feeling horribly bad about myself. So, as I was getting into the shower tonight…I thought of a few things. I will say, that not all of these are directly linked to me…
Reasons you KNOW you need to get yourself to the altar…
1. If you are in a traffic jam and you break out your “driving finger” and start screaming and waving your hands wildly in the air, all-the-while having a “honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker on your car…
2. If you listen to the song “Lollipop” while doing your daily devotion…
3. When you realize that you have had a picture of you getting your (covered) nipple bitten on your facebook page for 2 weeks (which many church members have access to).
4. When you plan a vacation around going to the bar, then going to church…
5. When you’re driving down the road, singing along to your Casting Crowns cd, hit a deep pot hole and yell “SH**!”
6. When you believe that your church will perform an exorcism on you at the next available moment.
7. When you are in Sunday school and the topic of gossip arises and everyone looks at you…
8. When you catch yourself making the statement “Bless ‘er heart, the girl is such a hoe.”
9. When you find yourself wanting to run down someone in the church parking lot.
Thank God, that He will forgive us when we fail.

An insomniacs thoughts at 2 a.m.

So, I’m up again tonight….like the millionth night in a row that I can’t sleep. What is going on with me? I can nap for a couple of hours in the afternoon, but I NEVER can sleep at night anymore. The insanity!
So here are some of the things that are rolling around in my noggin’ tonight…
1. A woman can only take so much virtue. Sometimes it feels good to be bad…and sometimes, I wish I had the nerve to be that girl. Will work on that.
2. I hate the fact that responsibility always falls on the girl…
3. Why do boys have to be so complicated? Damn, just be honest. If I know your true intentions…maybe we can compare notes.
4. Sometimes you can’t be shy and pass on a good opportunity…because that might be the only chance you have *sigh*
5. I hate Trenton. I realize that it’s a bad way to feel…considering I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful support system here. But frankly, I’m sick of seeing certain people, I’m sick of being here when I’d much rather be somewhere else, and I’m sick of not being able to do “fun stuff” because everyone is so tight-assed around here and loves to tell me how I should be and what I should do.
6. I really wish I had someone to cuddle with…
7. I wonder what else Merle thinks can be fixed by simply watching porn….hahahaha.
8. I HATE the booty song…Damn it! Now it will be stuck in my head.
9. I love my garnet ring…
10. I need to put by gold ring up for safe keeping…or just attach it to my YaYa hat b/c I think I’m threw for good with the a-hole.
11. Although it appalls Jarrod, I DO love a guy with a little chest hair.
12. I wonder if my Uncle’s family got mad because we missed church…I’m guessing yes. Oops… But when you get back to the hotel room at 5 a.m. it’s really difficult to get up at 8 and get ready for church. Just wasn’t happening.
13. I need to buy a tazer. And possibly borrow someone’s tractor so that I can plow into someone’s truck (not that the act would in any way be pre-meditated, mind you).
14. I REALLY only like getting affection from people I care about…there’s really only a few people that I want touching me. This does not include the door man, Juan, or any other field hand…not to mention, others.
15. I want to have a movie night and just chill at the casa and watch Juno, Why did I get married?, Madea goes to Jail…hell, all the Tyler Perry movies.
16. OOOH! A costume party at Halloween would be fun.
17. I like to have the opportunity to explain myself if there’s ever any confusion…I don’t like to not be able to speak my mind about things.
18. Furthermore, I’m a bit neurotic when I think/assume people are saying things about me…good or bad, I want to know.
19. I am WAY too nosy.
20. I need to find that cake recipe….
21. What grad school should I choose and what the hell do I want to be when I grow up??
22. Twenty-four is WAY too young to have two-three kids. Lord, I couldn’t handle one…now.
23. I want to plan a big birthday party next summer…not that 24 is any more special than any other…but I think a big party would be fun…and this year it’s too close to plan one.
24. Guys with shapelier eyebrows than mine look funny.
25. Ughhh…I need to go to bed. I won’t be able to go to work in the morning…

What happens in Carrabelle...

What happens in Carrabelle stays in Carrabelle….yeah, right. Hell, it’s a small town just like Trenton…word travels like wildfire :)

To try to begin on explaining what all happened on vacation would be impossible…So here are the basics. I had a wonderful time, as always. Bobby, Amy, and Merle made the trip a ton of fun. Bobby, I can honestly say that all expectations (if there really were any) were met. I always have a blast when I travel up there with KW. I am truly hoping that we can “mesh” our friends up there and the ones down here at some point. We did a lot of fun and unexpected things.

I will end with a few jokes of the weekend…BANANAS! (BTW, I SOOOOOO did say that as I was yelling and waving my hands crazy like). GET MY PANTS! Sausages. Reverse Cowboy. Sexpack. Vampires. KW and Amy Shakin' 'em. Booty (although, we never actually listened to the song…thank God).

It was a very memorable trip and “a good time was had by all.” Lol. I just hope that the Carrabelle Posse enjoyed themselves as much as we did. Love you guys.

Hittin' the road...

This week has been super lame. No real hot news coming my way this week. It’s been a bit dull at the Journal, at home, in town, etc. Frankly, I’ve had about enough “blah” for one week. So, I, along with my dear friend KW, are hittin’ the road tomorrow. Well, tomorrow afternoon I will be heading back to my dear, sweet Carrabelle. Go figure, right? I hope and pray that it’ll be even better than last time. I’m excited…but still a little nervous, as always. I absolutely HATE packing. It is no fun whatsoever. I never know what to pack, so I wind up taking WAY too many clothes so I will have some choices. Don’t even get me started on trying to figure out which shoes and purses to bring along…

Now that I’ve figured out most of the outfits that I will bring, I still have to: bake cookies, get a birthday present to where it looks presentable, pack up all of my make-up and hair junk, paint my nails, clean out my purse, etc., etc., etc. None of this do I actually want to do. I took the easy route in cleaning my car and just took it to the “buggy bath” in Chiefland.

I just hope that we have a safe, super fun trip. I hope that all y’all have a safe and happy Fourth, too.