Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dear God, Please 4-lane that narrow road…

Ok, as I found myself in a bit of a pickle today, I thought of the hypocrite that I’ve become. As with most things, I immediately had to think of something to make me laugh, instead of feeling horribly bad about myself. So, as I was getting into the shower tonight…I thought of a few things. I will say, that not all of these are directly linked to me…
Reasons you KNOW you need to get yourself to the altar…
1. If you are in a traffic jam and you break out your “driving finger” and start screaming and waving your hands wildly in the air, all-the-while having a “honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker on your car…
2. If you listen to the song “Lollipop” while doing your daily devotion…
3. When you realize that you have had a picture of you getting your (covered) nipple bitten on your facebook page for 2 weeks (which many church members have access to).
4. When you plan a vacation around going to the bar, then going to church…
5. When you’re driving down the road, singing along to your Casting Crowns cd, hit a deep pot hole and yell “SH**!”
6. When you believe that your church will perform an exorcism on you at the next available moment.
7. When you are in Sunday school and the topic of gossip arises and everyone looks at you…
8. When you catch yourself making the statement “Bless ‘er heart, the girl is such a hoe.”
9. When you find yourself wanting to run down someone in the church parking lot.
Thank God, that He will forgive us when we fail.

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