Friday, May 7, 2010

Single people unite!

Ok, ironically enough, I sent a link to an article about “Things you should never say to Singles” to my friend KW the other day. We laughed, because we’ve heard several of these before. Quite frankly, every time I hear one of these it makes me want to ingest a package of thumbtacks (to be descriptive).

Here is the link:

I love hearing “A pretty girl like you can’t be single” or better yet “Why are you still single?” How the crap do you answer that??

…But the all-time worst one is “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” Let me just tell you about the fish in the sea, ok?! There are the felon fish, the foreign fish, the don’t-want-to-get-a-job fish, the irritating-as-hell fish, the married-but-I-take-my-ring-off-to-hide-it fish, the no-good-will-cheat-on-you fish, the drunk fish, the been-around-the-block-five-times fish, and the fish that’s been hitting the silly seaweed. Those are the fish in my sea.

Now, I told you that to tell you this story….

Last weekend as my mom and I were coming back from Gainesville, we stopped in town to get ice. There was an old man sitting out by the ice machine, which was weird in itself. This is how the conversation went:

(As I’m trying to put money in the machine)

Weirdo: “So what are you planning to do tonight, honey?”

Me: “Ummm…I’m going home to bake cookies.”

Weirdo: “ooooh, I bet your kids will love that.”

Me: “I don’t have any kids actually.”

Weirdo: “Well, I’m sure your husband will.”

Me: “Actually, they are for my Sunday School class…the other teacher is having a birthday tomorrow, so the kids and I were going to throw her a little party.”

Weirdo: “I’m sure they’ll enjoy that. So you’re not married?”

Me: “No, sir.” (getting irritated)

Weirdo: “Not seeing anyone? Talking to anyone? Anything?”

Me: “Nope.” (irritation rising)

Weirdo: “Why?”

Me: (ummmmm?!) “All the good ones are taken??”

Weirdo: “Oh, honey, never say that. Never say all the good ones are taken.”

What. The. Heck. Seriously? First of all, I had never met this man. So it was just weird. And he was like 65ish. Ummmm? I’m single because I’ve not met anybody decent….in a long time. I’m not a lesbian. I’m not crazy. There is just no good guys HERE. So, there you go.

I. Yi. Yi.

In much much much better news: My mama has finished her treatments. They played the commencement song with kazoos as she went to leave :) How cute is that. So, as of now, no radiation. Hallelujah! I am soooo happy, and sooo blessed...more about this another day, I have much to say!

1 comment:

  1. You're so funny girl. They questions don't end once you meet someone though. Then you get the "When are you going to get married?" and as soon as you do it's "When are you guys having kids?" It drives me nuts!! I refuse to ask these questions to anyone. Glad to hear about your mom too. God is good!!