Friday, June 10, 2011

Aleta the Fraidy Cat

For those of you that have me listed as a friend on facebook, you may have seen a status regarding this a month ago. Recently, I set off to find out a name for my fear. Knowing that they have a vast amount of named fears, I figured I would be able to find a name for mine. What is this fear, you might ask? I have a fear of seeing movies that stir any emotion other than laughter. Random, I know, but it’s true. Last year at my birthday, we had first planned to see Charlie St. Cloud….That is, until I had a near panic attack after reading the storyline of the movie a week before my birthday. We wound up seeing Ramona and Beezus (very, very cute movie, btw). Yes, yes, I know…I’m a complete spaz. I blame it on not wanting to cry, or not wanting to get wrapped up in a movie. Yes, comedies are all I wish to see.

Anyways, back to the point, I set off to find a name. I looked at several websites to no avail. But I did find some fears that applied to me. And I did stumble across some fears worth mentioning.

Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.

--After reading Paula Deen’s memoir, I totally diagnosed myself with this…However, now, I’m thinking mine is just more of fear of the unfamiliar. (i.e. me feeling the need to run for the nearest exit at a friend’s child’s birthday).

Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single

--Enough said. Although, I will add that I have lessened my standards to “mammal” at this point… with a few exceptions (alcoholics, drug addicts, guys that I would still have to mother, and of course, nascar fans) LOL. As of late, there are some very nice women wanting to set me up with their sons…the problem? One boy has a DUI, and is currently jobless due to the DUI, or the other is annoying as heck and has no ambition in life. What. The. Heck?

Scopophobia or Scoptophobia- Fear of being seen or stared at.

--Didn’t realize until recently how much this bothered me. If I’m in conversation with someone, of course eye contact is fine. However, when it’s dead silent, and I’m being stared at, it kind of freaks me out. I think “Dear Lord, do I have a booger? Do I have something in my teeth?”

Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.

--I’ve blogged before about this. I’m trying to figure out how I can get my prescriptions refilled and still wiggle out of going to my annual check-up.

Here are the fears that just struck me as funny (and my commentary).

Genuphobia - Fear of knees. (…how would this work? Don’t look down?)

Aulophobia- Fear of flutes. (…?)

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth (I’m amazed this one has a name)

Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia- Fear of body smells. (I have a dear friend that is always concerned with whether or not she smells).

Brontophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning. (Me, circa 1994).

Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting. (Lord help, my feet would get tired)

Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease. (I’ve had a friend that was a complete psycho, and he mentioned this a time or two… When I saw it, the first thing that popped into my mind was the phrase “That poor girl has Gona-herp-a-syphillis.”)

Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.

Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.

Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.

Linonophobia- Fear of string. (again, …..?)

Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother.

Omphalophobia- Fear of belly buttons.

Peladophobia- Fear of bald people. (hehehe)

Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.

Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words. ( “Don’t use big words around me!” Me- “I just used the word ‘polygamy’”…)

Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.

The very best of the best, which I also didn’t find a name for, was my good friend that was afraid of midgets (or vertically challenged people, for all of you politically correct folks out there) and mentally handicapped people.

3 comments:

  1. Oh.My.Lord. Aleta...you are seriously cracking me up!! Well, at least the fear list was cracking me up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Girl, I will find you a mammal tomorrow at work! Just you wait, I feel sure the right mammal for you will walk through our doors ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete