Thoughts bouncing around in my noggin today

1. We always seem to pressure people who have had facial hair (as long as we can remember) to shave it off at some point. Then we see them without it and immediately want them to grow it back.

2. The song “Two Black Cadillacs” bothers me… When have you ever seen a wife find out about their husband cheating and plot with the other woman? Hell, a good majority of the time, they blame the other woman and want to plot against her. Not realistic, people; not realistic.

3. Why is it that every single time I paint my nails pink, every red item in my closet pleads with me to wear it?

4. Sometimes I think that we’ve placed so much emphasis on rules and regulations, policies and procedures, that we’ve almost substituted those for a conscience. Does someone really need to have to tell you that it’s against the rules to look up porn in a public library when children could walk by and see it?

5. Along those same lines… In this day and age, everyone has to be so dang politically correct. We don’t want to infringe on the rights of others…And there is confidentiality clauses in almost EVERY-dang-thing…but when it comes at the cost of others safety, what is it that we’re accomplishing exactly?

6. I wonder where all of the money for the fundraisers really go.

7. OMG, I’m becoming a conspiracy theorist. :-/

8. I wonder whose idea it was to paint the walls white in mental institutions…why not a more calming color? Like a sunshiney yellow, or a sky blue,…maybe a seafoam green?

9. Floral wallpaper…whoever came up with that idea should be hit with a bus…

10. The remake of the Great Gatsby looks awesome.

11. That old adage “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” isn’t quite true for me… it’s more like “Idle hands are the making for a crazy person” where I’m concerned.

12. Based on her music, Miranda Lambert gets me. I’m not sure if that says much for my sanity…but nevertheless, it’s true.

13. Men always blame a woman’s bad mood on PMS. What’s their excuse? I’ve met some men with worse mood swings than a menopausal woman with an addiction to candy corn and crack.

14. False eyelashes look so cool (I’m a mascara addict, for those of you that didn’t know). But I’m afraid I’d wind up looking like Miss Piggy after a rough night. Or I’d wind up effing up my real eyelashes or glueing my eye shut.

15. I used to think it was odd that my friend’s little girl said her favorite color was brown. Out of all the colors…brown was her favorite. That just seemed odd. Now: You wanna know what color is awesome? Black. I think it’s my favorite. Slimming…Classy…Dark…Mysterious. Such great qualities for a color.

16. Why is it that I’m 26, and still have to move my hands to the right or left when giving directions? It takes me that amount of time to remember which is which. My hands are somehow faster than my brain.

17. Note to self: No one should ever ask me for directions.

18. I’ve been at my new job nearly six months, and I still have to pause for a good three seconds to remember how to answer the phone.

19. Men never think to spruce up their emails. I mean, c’mon…add some depth…add some emotion. I can’t figure out if you mean “hey” as in “Hey! Good morning, sunshine.” Or “Hey, I’d like to hit you with a bus.” --Or maybe, just maybe (here’s my little disclaimer), I’m the only lunatic that would think this. Maybe they just literally mean “hey.” If this is the case, I completely would like to blame my High School English Honors teacher, as she made us pick everything apart, and try to see symbolism in just about everything ;) Gotta love Mrs. Flemming.

20. We really need a live-in maid at our house. I wish I’d inherited the Sheffield OCD cleaning gene, but I didn’t. And it’s not that I’m lazy, but I’d rather be shot in the head than have to clean my house. People who like to clean, who feel compelled to clean ALL the time are weird to me.