Thursday, June 18, 2009

Aleta's Fungi-mopolis-polish mini-mercial

I had a random thought tonight. How in the heck do some medications have side effects such as “increased gambling urge?” Could it have been that the testers of this drug just rounded up a crew from gamblers anonymous? This is just odd to me. Along those same lines…why on earth would I want medication for something as trivial as restless leg or for having less eyelashes than normal when the side effects are completely worse than the problem at hand?

I’m going to make my own mini-mercial up to prove my point and let y’all see the insanity…

“Are your toenails turning yellow? Well, try the new fungi-mopolis-polish. It’s been scientifically proven to cure the fungus that gets under the nail and begins to turn it yellow. Millions have used it and are enjoying the ability to walk around in flip flops again. “
“Fungi-mopolis-polish is not for everyone. Do not use Fungi-mopolis-polish if you will be operating heavy machinery. If you are a smoker you should not use Fungi-mopolis-polish, because it may put you at risk for a heart attack or kidney failure. Side effects are mild, but may include: cirrhosis of the liver, hair loss, weight gain, deadening of the toenail, permanent browning of the toes or feet, heartburn, an increased gambling urge, anal seepage, bladder control issues, swelling of the tongue or throat, mild to moderate acne, ear itch, and nose bleeds. Do not continue use of Fungi-mopolis-polish if you experience any of these side effects.”

Although my mini-mercial might have been a bit exaggerated, listen to some of the medicine commercials that are on tv. Some of the side effects GREATLY outweigh the actual problem. It’s insanity I tell you.

I know I’ve said this before, but I will go there again. What the hell is up with all these erectile dysfunction commercials. What happened to the good ol’ days when everything was all hush-hush. If a man had a problem he went to see his doctor, not parade the issue around on tv. I am far from modest, but what the hell? Every other commercial is that nowadays. And that “Bob” commercial…Once again, to me, it seems like E.D. is far from his only problem. Could someone get Bob a straight jacket? The man looks bat shit crazy.

On a lighter note, I’m beginning to feel more like myself. Which is mah-ve-lous. Typically my sequence is…get shocked, get depressed, get angry. Sometimes it takes me longer to progress through these stages than other times. But right now, I’m not depressed…or really angry…I think I’m at the end of the madness. I’ve kind of came to the conclusion that you can like me, you can hate me, but I want to be myself…and if you don’t like “myself” …than, you can just kiss it.

In other news, my sister got a new puppy. She’s cute as a button…but mean as a snake. She’s a chocolate lab puppy named “Kenzy” (was Kennedy…which I liked better…but Rheba hated it having 3 syllables…don’t ask). She has been tearing the Sheffield house up the last few days. So far, she’s likes to chew on toilet paper, any form of empty 20 oz bottle, boots, flip-flops, Sassy our mini poodle, cords, etc. Her newest venture is barking at the “imaginary dog” in the dishwasher (she sees her reflection). She’s a crazy puppy…but hilarious to watch. She’s much like the Road-Runner…never stopping a bit.


  1. I am soooo with you on the "Bob" commercials. I told Adam the other night how crazy it is that they have those trashy things on one right after the other all day long. I am of course very much looking forward to explaining exactly what that's all about to Allie when she's like 4 and the commercial comes on during Sesame Street on PBS!!!

    I am so glad you are feeling better. I like you just as you are, so please stay "yourself" (:

  2. Oh Aleta, what would we do if you weren't "you?" We love ya just how you are!