More things I don’t understand…

1) Why everyone thinks the newspaper office is the operator.



2) Who thought this would be an appropriate Christmas gift for someone? (Please note the eyeglasses, pearls, and extra feathers…if you can’t see it clearly enough, please click on it to enlarge…I swear to the Lord Almighty that one of my family members received this thing one year for Christmas…why??). Although this totally takes the cake for bad gifts, I had another family member receive a bejeweled roach pin to put on their best Sunday dress.

3) Why the one night I go to pick up my sister at a basketball game, in a nightshirt with no pants on, there are cops ALL over the premises flashing lights into cars.



4) Why there are some doors that seem to have no meaning. Please note the top door...with no stairway. It's just a door. I get to see this everyday.

5) Why some fathers-of-the-bride deem it their job to tell the bridesmaids how to hold their bouquet. –I swear y’all, this actually happened in a wedding I was in, and I wanted to deck the father-of-the-bride before it was said and done.

6) Why someone thought it was a good idea to add the Cow Auction to RFDtv.

7) Why should we still be punished just because someone lied thirty years ago, in church, and told someone that they sang beautifully. The joke has been over for thirty years, pal. She's still tone-deaf. Why must we still be tortured??

8) Why are some “Come Adopt a Pet” Ads sounding more like personal ads? O.M.G. there was a crazy one about 6 months ago in a not-to-be-named publication in the Levy County area that was a girl dog “wanting to meet a good male dog.” WTH???

9) Why do some white girls think their long-lost talent is rapping??

10) Why do I always get into arguments with the relay operators that call me at work? Every time, it goes like this:

Me: Journal, how can I help you?
Relay lady: This is a relay call, I will be reciting what the person on the other line is typing to me. Me: Let me make this simple,…we don’t take credit cards.
RL: Ma’am, I still have to recite what they type. Could you please repeat what you said, beginning with “Journal?”
Me: Ma’am, this is a waste of time, we don’t take credit cards. The person typing will hang up if you tell them that.
RL: Could you please repeat that slower, beginning at “Ma’am.”
Me: ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Click.

Very, very irritating. However, I did get the satisfaction of arguing one time until the Relay woman cussed. Though, maybe I shouldn’t brag about that. :)

11.) Why is it that young country music singing girls think that hopping is dancing?? I may love their music, but Lord, they cannot dance (neither can I, and that is why I stay off the dance floor).

12.) Why were ascots ever popular?

13.) Why are meek and mild people so prone to road rage?

14.) Why is it that ALL teenage boys in this area go through that stage of going through town making the noise: “WAAAAAAAAAH, WAH, WAHHHHHHHH!” with their trucks. O.M.G.

15.) Why do we have to have A SIGN in our office over a display of post-its, saying “Not edible?” And the sad thing is…people still ask.

16.) Why kids that skate off of people’s roofs at 15, are likely to be the next Bill Gates?

17.) Why does everyone invite me to be their neighbor on farmville?? I don't want to help you raise a damn barn. :) lol

To end this, I’m going to post a picture of what is hanging on my wall at work. I’m still mad, if you couldn’t tell ;-)

For the love of Cheesy Tots

I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but I never can seem to make it out to my computer at night anymore…partly due to our “stamping room” (where the computer is located) being about 20º colder than the rest of the house. So, today, I thought I’d play catch up a bit while I’m at lunch.

Well, today…my thumbs are tired. Of course, it’s from wildly texting Krystle all morning (big surprise). As a side note, I wonder if, in like 20 years, people will start being diagnosed with some form of funky thumb disorder that we all earned by texting every chance we got. Or maybe, in billions of years, because of “evolution,” maybe we will have like super thumbs or something….just a thought.

But I digress,…I was texting Krystle this morning…We were talking about Nascar, skinny boys in wranglers, and my “type of guy” (which by the way, I’m becoming increasingly concerned because it’s beginning to look like my “type of guy” is pudgy guys that are buttholes..Im not so concerned about the pudge. I do love a chubby guy....just not the buttholes). Suddenly, I was possessed. I started texting Krystle faster and faster, going off on a tear about “just some stupid guy” that shall remain nameless. It’s funny how sometimes we think that we are over something, then something reminds us of it, and we get pissed all over again. Although I’m certainly trying to watch my anger issues in this new year, I must say that I have pinned up my mini voo-doo doll, and it is hanging nicely upside-down on my wall at work. Just a heads-up, apparently I’m not over it, so “just some stupid guy” be warned…I may possibly throw a grade-A, Aleta hissy fit the next time I’m blessed with your presence, and I may not be able to contain myself when I want to kick you in the shin and suckerpunch you in the gut. Just a warning.

OMG, I must simply blog about this. This is one of those “you know you’re a chubby girl when” stories. Right before Christmas, I had done one of my anonymous “good deeds,” and decided to reward myself with cheesy tots from Burger King (considering I had not yet had breakfast).—I can seriously attribute about 20lbs of me to cheesy tots and iced coffee that I thoroughly enjoyed while going to school.—Anyways, so I pulled up to the drive thru and ordered… “Ma’am, we don’t have them anymore. They’ve been discontinued.” “What??!” is all I could muster. I swear, y’all, I think chubby girls everywhere cried a little that day. :_(

Christmas with my family this year was wonderful and yet anxiety-ridden. I say that because I stayed on “near panic attack” mode all through the holidays. We were given some news that made us all a little anxious on Christmas Eve, and we had to wait until after the New Year to get the results. But my family had a happy, healthy, wonderful Christmas and that was a true blessing.

Just a little note—we got good results, so after all that worrying, everything was ok.

Now onto my New Years resolutions. I plan on trying to control my anger (which I seem to be succeeding at superbly haha). I plan on yet another attempt at losing weight (I have the desire…just not the will or staying power…lol). I WILL take time to read more this year (4 years of college deprived me of my pleasure reading). And I HOPE to figure out what I want to get my MA degree in this year (and possibly start school again in the fall). Oh wait, one more, I also resolve to not be such a “potty mouth.” I have GOT to work on that one.

I hope that everyone that reads this is having a wonderful New Year. My wish for all of y’all is that everyone you love has a happy, healthy New Year.

What the....

So, lately I’ve had quite a bit going on and haven’t had much that I felt I could post about. I still won’t go into depth with those things, but I would like to share some of the crazy things that I’ve heard/dealt with in the past few weeks.

First I will tell you about the phone call that I received on Friday morning. This is how the conversation went.

Riiiiinnnnngggg
Me: “Good morning. Journal. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Hello?!...Hello?!...Hell-o!?”
Me: (a little louder) “Good morning. Journal. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Who is this??”
Me: (even a little louder, and impatiently…I might add) “THIS IS THE JOURNAL, HOW CAN I HELP YOU!!!”
Caller: “Is _____ there??”
Me: “He is, but he’s on the other line.”
Caller: “Will he be in this afternoon.”
Me: “Yes, sir! He IS HERE right now, he’s just on the other line.”
Caller: “he’s on the other what?”
Me: (really losing any remaining patience I had) “I said he’s on the other line. He’s talking to someone else on the other phone line!”
Caller: “Oh, I’m sorry…my reception is bad. I just dropped my phone in the commode a few minutes ago.”

……………????????? I will say here that I am not knocking the man for dropping his phone in the toilet…I’ve done it myself. But I deemed mine un-useable after that, just on principle.

Have I ever mentioned that my dad is a completely shameless redneck, and he’s never gonna change??

So,…we were sitting there watching Hee-Haw tonight. Yes, you read right…Hee-Haw. We have/are forced to watch it every Sunday night at 8 p.m. on the RFDtv channel (…unless we boot-scoot out to the additional room and watch that tv). RFDtv is proof that God is still working on me. He’s “helping” me work on my patience for sure (plus, I’m sure this gives Him a laugh once a week). Frankly, every time Hee-Haw comes on I have the sudden urge to find a plastic knife and slit my wrists. But I digress…. We were watching Hee-Haw, the dumbest show in the history of Television, when Dad pulls out his dentures and starts looking at them. He says, and I quote, “I think I have a cavity.” Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm……..ok, dad. I swear to goodness….

Oh, and we got a note sent to us from the funeral home. It started out “You’re at a crossroads in your life…” I think my response as my mom sat in front of me reading it was “What the HELL are they sending that for?” Classy, I know. All I could think is…they sure are trying to recruit people early, aren’t they.

BTW, the past two nights I’ve fallen asleep in the living room, only to wake up about 3:30 and stumble back to my room. Well, last night, my sister went to sleep wearing a hoodie because she was so cold. Well, at about 3 a.m., as I was sleeping sitting up on the couch, my sister stood in front of me and shook my knee to wake me up. I looked up and saw a hooded figure standing over me and freaked. I won’t write here the words that came out of my mouth…but y’all can imagine. She scared me so bad that the coffee mug sitting in my lap nearly got flung at her. I think we both learned a lesson with this.

Slacker Men

Ok…so I’ve been thinking about this a lot. When did chivalry actually die? And why are there just a WHOLE lot of slacker guys out there now?

I was discussing this with Merle and KW the other night. Although I know of a few that are still “gentleman,” there aren’t that many. You know, a few years ago I was standing in the grocery store when a guy came up and cussed in front of me (before I started using a few four-letter words myself). Well, a friend stepped up and said something to the effect of “Watch your mouth, we have a lady present.” How sweet is that? Opening doors, pulling out your chair, etc…what happened to all that??? I’m beginning to think that there are a lot of slacker men out there.

KW recently came up with a very good idea of 5 must-haves in a guy. Here they are (to the best of my knowledge): 1) He must not be married. 2) He must have a job. 3) He must have his own place. 4) He must have a vehicle. 5) He must not be addicted to any substance (alcohol or otherwise). You know what the sad part is??? MOST guys don’t qualify. What is with this? O.M.G. Really??

What is with the guys who a) don’t take responsibility for their actions, b) don’t mind that they have NO ambition to get ahead in life, and c) are content with walking around in a drunken fog all the time? And I swear, if I EVER get hit on by a convicted felon, a man mooching off of the government by being on disability when he COULD work, a fifty + year-old man, or a foreigner that can’t say anything in English besides “can I have your number?”…I’m going to scream.

Slacker men, I tell you, slacker men (she says while shaking her head and rolling her eyes).

Thankful

You know,…this week has been a tough one. Stressful beyond belief. In fact, I said to my Hannie earlier in the week “I just don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with all of this.” Well, God gave me the strength and I pulled through. I would like to say thank you to all that prayed for me and my family this week. We are far from out of the woods, so your continued prayers are much appreciated.

I’ve thought on this and thought on this. Sometimes we can only try to make the best of bad situations and learn from them. After having my stomach just fall to the floor on Sunday night, I’ve thought about how much I take for granted. Maybe this is God giving me an opportunity to start seeing and being thankful for everything I’m given each day.

So here is what I’m thankful for this week: I am thankful to have the parents that I have and my sister; I’m thankful that I see them each day; I’m thankful that I got to go out with some of my “besties” this week (which got my mind off things for a little while); I’m thankful that KW and I had a wonderful trip last weekend; I’m thankful that I got to see a lot of the older people that I have come to dearly love up there; I’m thankful for the nice people we met on Tuesday; and I am very thankful for all the prayers that were sent up for us this week; and finally I’m thankful for my friends that were there to support and comfort me this week. **I will add here that I absolutely HATE crying in front of people. So I have to say that I am very grateful that a certain guy friend that came to my rescue and made me feel all better on a day when I was ready to crawl in a hole. He knew just what to say when I needed it the most. :)

So, in summation, I am very thankful. People keep saying “take it one day at a time.” Well, that’s great and all (completely ludicrous for a worrier like myself), but I think I’d rather take time each day to make a list of things I’m thankful for. Maybe that’ll keep me centered…and keep me from pulling my hair out…and from the straightjacket. Hehe.

One final thing…I am LOVING this weather. I realize it’s Florida…and bound to change in a day or two. But it’s SO nice! Hot chocolate, warm pajama bottoms,....ooooh....loving it.

A small request

I'm writing this to ask a small request. I ask that whoever reads this will pray for me and my family.

I got home from vacation last night, only to have my world shaken up a bit. Anyone that knows me or has read any of my blogs will know that I don't handle stress well...at ALL. So, please, just say a simple little prayer for us.
Thanks,
Aleta

The Scary Pea and Caramel Popcorn

I was told this morning that I was “one of three peas in a pod…and it’s a very scary pod.” Nice, huh? I laughed and laughed. My Hannie cracks me up.

So, I tried to bake last night. My mom absolutely hates when I’m in “her” kitchen. :) Apparently I’m a messy cook. Not only that, but it never fails. I ALWAYS screw up the recipe. Somehow, I always manage to forget some very important ingredient (should I chalk that up to not fully reading the recipe??).

Last night was no different. I had my mind made up to make some goodies (fall favorites) for some of my favorite people. And OH, how cute they would be in mason jars, with fall fabric at the top with a gold ribbon. Sounds good, right? Well, I looked through some recipes and decided that I was going to make pumpkin cakes, puppy chow, and caramel popcorn.

The first big flop was finding the mason jars that I had bought. I only found 5 of the 12. How this happened, I will never know.

I started the caramel popcorn as soon as I got home yesterday (I will mention here that “Supervising Cynthia Kay” wasn’t home…so maybe I can blame the first bad batch on her). In this batch, I forgot the vanilla flavoring and the baking soda. Oops….Those shouldn’t have been super important ingredients, right?? According to mom (via cell phone) they were… But still, the result was still very yummy.

The second batch, had the prettiest color. We popped that pan in the oven and in just an hour, our pretty popcorn had turned into bitter-tasting burnt popcorn balls. This batch was thrown in the trash.

The third batch, I realized (after I had put it in the oven) that I had forgotten to half the vanilla in it (I was making ½ a batch, rather than the full amount…so it’d be easier to manage). So it TOO came out bitter tasting.

After all my sampling, and cooking, I am quite sure that if I ever see, smell, taste, cook, etc. caramel popcorn again it will be entirely too soon.

Meanwhile, the puppy chow was super simple to make. And for me, not nearly as messy as I had thought it would be. The problem…it made far less than what I had thought.

Even though I had some problems (a lot of problems actually), I did end up bagging up a little bit of the popcorn (from the first batch, I might add, that had been made with a few errors and without supervision). And the mason jars turned out SUPER cute.

So, my attitude is now…If my favorite people get a pumpkin cake and/or puppy chow and/or possibly one of the jars of popcorn, they damn well better be happy and feel loved because it will probably be a while before I step back into my mama’s kitchen.