Monday, April 20, 2009

So...what you're really saying is....

I, like every good woman, am a big fan of hearing someone say a line, and reading between the lines. After hearing something on the “Cougar” show, the other night, I began planning for this post. BTW, don’t mock me for actually watching “The Cougar,” it is very much like a train wreck…it’s so bad, you have to keep watching to see the next stupid thing.

One of the young men on this show really cracked me up. Here’s what he said: “I’m currently unemployed…but I would have to describe myself as a ‘life enthusiast.’” Here’s what I interpreted: He is dead broke and he’s living in his mother’s basement.

I absolutely love this one. Apparently some of the elders in our church don’t believe that I can get through school. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this… “So, Aleta, you still going to school?” This is code for “Aleta, have you flunked out yet?” I have been DYING to answer this in anyway other than yes. I have thought about how I will respond…and here is what I am going to say if someone asks me in the next few weeks: “Nope, I had to drop out when my boyfriend Snake knocked me up.”

Speaking of school…The day that I went to register for my first classes at Saint Leo…I met my advisor. I’ll tell you, we have a much better understanding of each other now than we did after this session. I walked into the office wearing t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops, considering that I was running from classes at LCCC, to the Saint Leo office, then back to work. It was a busy day. I walked in, and the advisor looked me up and down. Then she said “Well, I guess you didn’t know what to wear either.” I’m like “WTH?” I interpreted as “you look like you can’t afford to go here.” Then, as we’re discussing my financial aid (BTW, I had the lottery scholarship, FRAG, and other local scholarships), I called them out on charging us a “maintenance fee” of $100 for EVERY internet class. She then says, “Well, I could tell the moment you walked in that you were frugal.” I interpreted as “You look like you’re poor and cheap.” Nice. Then, to top it all off, she tells me “Well, here at Saint Leo, you can make D’s and pass.” A.k.a. You look like you will flunk out the first semester. I’m glad to say that, after being on the Deans list all the semesters now…She’s seen my capability. Also, my bill has been paid every semester, on time. So…I’ve surprised her.

I had a pile of these in my mind earlier, but as it’s getting later, I can’t for the life of me think of all of them. But if I remember any, I’ll post them tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. I have thought of an addition I would like to make to the blog post that I posted last night. One night, back in my “Hitchcock” days, my friends Sandy and Courtney and I went out for KFC in Chiefland. I believe that Courtney was ranting about how every good guy was married or what not. Well, we ran into this guy in the KFC. She was still spoutin’ off…so she asked him a simple set of questions. She asked “Are you married?” and “Do you ever cheat?” No joke…this was his response. “I’m sorta married and I sometimes cheat.” --Here’s Aleta’s interpretation. (cough cough, lying scuzball, cough). If this man was married…he dern sure was either on the brink of divorce, or just a couple of months from being broadcasted on the Jerry Springer show. And yes, he did look like he was the kind of guy that would meet up with a girl in a bar, and take her back to “look at his truck.” Scuzball. Ugh.

    Also...Anytime an ad for employment reads "flexible hours." This means that they can call you in at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning...beware.