Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Oh for the love of Spandex

Dear Girdle,


You deflate my spare tire…

You are my little bit of “suck it in, sister”…

Even when you are binding and constrictive, I know it’s because you want me to look my best…

When you’re pinching my thighs, I know, deep down, you’re just taking the jiggle out of my wiggle…

You keep my panties from falling down at relative’s funerals…

You’re my “hell no, jelly roll!”…

Even when you’re delivered to the wrong address…I will show no shame…

Because you, dear Spandex, are what makes this Pillsbury Dough Girl a little less doughy…

And I will always consider you “my gear”…

I love you so…

Love,

Punky the Chunky Monkey,
President of the Fat and Sassy Club

2 comments:

  1. Did you know I BAD need a laugh on this crazy Tuesday?! :)

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  2. HAHA THIS IS TOO FUNNY!! My husband always says "why would you want to wear something you can't even breathe in?" HA!

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