Tuesday, January 15, 2013


One of my greatest frustrations is trying to breakthrough to someone, and never being able to.

Have you ever experienced that? Had a time where you tried so hard to care for someone, to let someone see the real you, to do nice things for someone, only for it to be a complete bust?

I have. This has been my experience: If you come off too nice, people tend to think you’re not genuine. If you try too hard, they think you’re weird or creepy. And given my ability to say something inappropriate at the worst possible time, these things have me beating my head against my desk.

People often say “Don’t put too much stock into what other people think.” And a lot of times, it’s true. But it can certainly be disheartening, when someone that you regard so highly and want to be friends with, has a rotten opinion of you.

I’ve went through this recently. Friends told me “just let it be, they’re just a jerk.” Yet, that left me feeling unsettled. Finally, someone explained to me that this person had been hurt in the past, and was just really reserved. Some of the things started to make a little more sense. At that point, most people would’ve just let it be. For me, it’s not so easy. Hearing that just kind of pulled at my heartstrings. I can’t fix things, but it hurts my heart to hear that. My hands are tied.

Despite my “crusty” exterior (as Jarrod Watson would say), I still have a soft heart with some people. And it does break my heart that 1. I can’t help this person. 2. This person didn’t get a good impression of me.

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