I would rather...

Let's play a game called “I would rather…”

I would rather…have malaria.

I would rather…be stung by a jellyfish.

I would rather…lose my underwear at a funeral (again, hehehe ).

I would rather…ingest a package of thumbtacks.

I would rather…be the Character Council’s Personality of the Month.

I would rather…be hit by a mack truck.

I would rather…burn my tongue on hot soup.

I would rather…have my girdle pop and roll while singing karaoke in front of a large crowd.

I would rather…dance to “Ride Sally Ride.”

I would rather…wear a sign saying “throw your chewed-up gum at me.”

I would rather…be locked in a room with my Sunday School Class of 9 year-olds for 10 hours.

I would rather…have to listen to an old lady talk about how prune juice is a lifesaver for her digestive system.

I would rather…try to watch a Tyler Perry movie with teenagers right behind me.

I would rather…slit my wrists with a plastic knife.

I would rather…be stuck in an elevator with a man that has serious body odor.

I would rather…have “redneck thug” kiss my hand and call me Angela.

I would rather…be trampled by an elephant.

I would rather…take another semester of Phalin’s Research Methods.

I would rather…teach a Pre-K Class.

I would rather…watch a Crocodile Dundee marathon.

Honestly, I’d rather do all of these things than do what I’m going to do this afternoon. What is that, you ask? Go to the doctor. I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR. I have white-coat syndrome. The last time, my blood pressure went up and I started crying at the doctor’s office. The girl who rarely sheds a tear cried the last time she had to go to the doctor.

This is just a check-up. But I swear to goodness, I WILL NOT cry this time. But because I’ve been dreading this for oh—I dunno—Six months? The doctor better be on guard. He called my mama “feisty” when she was in the hospital….oh, y’all, he hasn’t even scratched the surface on feisty.

I’d better add here that he is an awesome doctor. He’s been so very good to my mama. For me, however, the jury is still out. I don’t like many doctors. Y’all need to pray that not only will I get through this…but that he gets through it too.