Frustrations

One of my greatest frustrations is trying to breakthrough to someone, and never being able to.


Have you ever experienced that? Had a time where you tried so hard to care for someone, to let someone see the real you, to do nice things for someone, only for it to be a complete bust?

I have. This has been my experience: If you come off too nice, people tend to think you’re not genuine. If you try too hard, they think you’re weird or creepy. And given my ability to say something inappropriate at the worst possible time, these things have me beating my head against my desk.

People often say “Don’t put too much stock into what other people think.” And a lot of times, it’s true. But it can certainly be disheartening, when someone that you regard so highly and want to be friends with, has a rotten opinion of you.

I’ve went through this recently. Friends told me “just let it be, they’re just a jerk.” Yet, that left me feeling unsettled. Finally, someone explained to me that this person had been hurt in the past, and was just really reserved. Some of the things started to make a little more sense. At that point, most people would’ve just let it be. For me, it’s not so easy. Hearing that just kind of pulled at my heartstrings. I can’t fix things, but it hurts my heart to hear that. My hands are tied.

Despite my “crusty” exterior (as Jarrod Watson would say), I still have a soft heart with some people. And it does break my heart that 1. I can’t help this person. 2. This person didn’t get a good impression of me.

Best Love Letter

So, in my blogging, I had a request the other day. At the time, I kind of scoffed at the idea. I was asked to write about LOVE…While there are SO many things that can be written on that topic, I just was really not feeling it at the time.


Tonight as I sat here thinking of Valentines Day being right around the corner, I got an idea…

My mama and my best friend, Krystle’s, mama (Mrs. Katie) were friends in high school. Mama always had a crazy Katie story to tell me when I was growing up. She once told me of how she did a strip tease in class (she had put her newly-finished Home Ec garment over her regular clothes, but she liketa given the teacher a bloomin’ heart attack); she told me about the time Mrs. Katie had hidden in class, and the let the other student’s tell the teacher she’d crawled through a hole to get to the boys’ bathroom; and the time Mrs. Katie had written the mushiest love letter…

This got me to thinking…I’m going to turn Mr. Jeff’s idea about me writing about love on to y’all. And in doing so, I will have my first-ever, bona fide contest.

I’m giving y’all a month. I want the best love letter ever. Now, it can be mushy, it can be funny, it can be whatever y’all want (minus any explicit material…because I just don’t want to have to read all of that). And on February 11th, I will pick a winner and post your love letter on my blog.

What do you win, you ask?? I will bake you a dessert for you and your sweetheart to share. And I will throw in a $25 gift certificate to the Ivy House.

You can email me: missmargarita8604@yahoo.com or on facebook.

Now, y’all get to thinkin’…I’m super excited about this…

I will leave y’all with my favorite love letter quote ever, (Thanks, Mrs. Katie!!)

“When I see you, everything on me that’s rubber pops and rolls…”

Apologies make me queasy...

So, I have this problem… I’m stubborn. Sometimes I can be mean and hateful. Sometimes I jump to conclusions. Sometimes I’m overbearing and inadvertently push people away. Sometimes I'm rash.  Sometimes, I can be a teeeeeeny bit bossy. And sometimes, I hate apologizing.


However, that being stated, I feel like it’s the time that I need to do just that. I need to issue an apology to someone.

I would like to apologize to someone in particular for my actions:

I have tried too hard. Been too pushy. Worn my heart on my sleeve, and gotten my feelings hurt far too easily. For these things, I apologize. I will say, however, that I did care very, very much, and I still think the world of you. Perhaps that is why I went a little nuts for a little while. You are a wonderful person, and you didn't deserve to ride my crazy train. So, I'm sorry.

That is all…

That’s all I’ve got.

That moment when...

The moment when your favorite song comes on in the car and the person you’re riding with starts singing it….and you’re like “whoa nelly, this ain’t karaoke.”


The moment when you ask “how are you?” when you know damn well you’d rather be shot in the foot than have to listen to how that person is.

The “oh shit” moment when you realize that you didn’t check the caller ID before answering and it’s the person you’ve been trying to avoid.

That moment when you go to a football/basketball/baseball game and someone tries to talk to you about the game and you try to sound like you aren’t a complete sports imbecile. “Touchdown, right?” Oh, damn, this is basketball.

Along those lines…That moment when you start freaking out because you realize that you have now reached the age where at a basketball game between the alumni and high school team, you find yourself rooting for the alumni…and checking them out.

That moment when you run into someone who looks familiar, and try as you might, all you can think is “OMG, I know I’ve had a not-so-pleasant run-in with that person, but where?? Where??”

That moment when you want to be Amish, just because Levi from Amish Mafia (the fakest reality tv show ever) is adorable.

That moment when you see a fine lookin’ man, and then he opens his mouth and he’s got the most seductive Southern drawl you’ve ever heard…then you find out he’s a Junior in high school. Which is then followed by that moment when you think “Well, damn, they didn’t make them like that when I was in high school.”  And then...then, you feel like a pedofile.

That moment when you realize what the songs you used to listen to as a child were really about (For some it might be nursery songs, for me it’s all of Garth Brooks’ songs. Lol).

That moment when you’re sweating like a whore in church while Christmas shopping because the FLORIDA store you’re in has a temperature setting based off of its home office…which is in Alaska, where it’s -40 degrees outside.

That moment when you’re rooting for someone to cuss…to just let it out; because if you hear one more “for mercy’s sake” you’re going to punch them in the face.

That moment when, you just want to sit under your desk at work and smoke a cigarette.

That moment when you think “Why go through all of the headache of taking down your Christmas tree? I could decorate it up for Valentine’s Day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas would roll around again eventually. Why don’t we just leave that shit up?”

That moment when you’re all crabby and you see someone you don’t like and think “she better not speak to me…she’d better not do it.” Then, the person who has earned your disdain says “Hello” or “How are you?” and you smile all the while thinking, “Bitch, I will punch you in the throat.”

For Heather Easley: That moment when you are about to die of a heat stroke…like you have sweat dripping down your back and your coworker turns on her space heater. Lol :)

Things Chappin' my butt in 2013

Well, it’s 2013, and people are already workin’ my last nerve. Here are just a few things that are chappin’ my broad butt right now:


• For the love of Snooki, I wish people would put a dang “lol” or two in an email when they’re joking. Now, granted, the lack of voice inflection in a text/email/IM has gotten me in some real doozies. And I have unintentionally upset more than a handful of people that way. Now, having been on the other side of that for…oh, say six months. I can COMPLETELY understand! OMG, if you’re joking, clue this girl in. My word, I’m beginning to expect a dour robot when I run into you on the street.

• Perky people. Let me just say, my New Year’s Resolution was NOT to become a nicer, friendlier, more bubbly person. I will never pop out of bed and be Little Miss Sunshine. In fact, my mama will always call me her Little Raincloud. :) hahaha.

• So, y’all might’ve taken note that I sometimes, maybe, kinda have a problem keeping my mouth shut, right? You might have also noted that I also sometimes think that inappropriate things are hilarious; and given the opportunity, I also tend to add some “spice” to my sentences….(I also like to think of them as “sentence enhancers”). Well, dear Lord, as much as I try to make people laugh on facebook, I still get some criticism for language or the things I say. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s fine. But if you don’t find humor in my day to day life and postings, either hide me, or delete me. Sad but true.

• Men. I’ll probably have much more to say on this subject in an upcoming blog.

• Holy Mimosas, I am already sick of people talking about their diets. Lord, if you want to diet, go right ahead. I’m trying to make some changes my own self, but goodness gracious, that’s not the only thing I can talk about, either. Despite what you might think, I don’t have to hear all you ate for breakfast, or hear about your not-so-appetizing lunch. And I especially don’t have to try your new, wonderful side dish that’s only 50 calories a serving. That’s awesome and all…but don’t tell me how wonderful it is. I’d probably need 5 servings to fill me up, and besides, it tastes like slime on seaweed.

I’ve got more irritations to come. However, this is only the 2nd day of 2013, so if I complain too much, y’all might find me to be a crusty old lady :) And “ain’t nobody got time for dat.”

A big love for Idiots wearing fascinators, dressed in tinfoil, eating fried chicken at the Crack Shack

Ok, that's just a jumble of what this blog is about...but hey, it got you to read it :)

If you know me well at all, you know that I have a never-ceasing love of fried chicken.  I love it.  This might just explain my fabulous curves a bit :)

In my opinion, the Cracker Box a/k/a Crack Shack has the BEST chicken strips ever…and luckily it’s just steps behind my office. 

Another thing that I love about the Crack Shack is the smiling faces that greet you there.  Not a day goes by that you can’t find some of the County Commissioners or the PGBC pastoral staff eating lunch.  And rarely do I walk in there that D. Ray doesn’t greet me with “Well, there’s my street walker, don’t forget to add mine to your bill.” (I campaigned for him in 2006).  It’s just such a nice place to eat lunch. A little slice of Mayberry, if you will.

And Mrs. Julie…I love Mrs. Julie.  She is always as sweet as she can be…and fabulous, that woman is fabulous.  We became Crack Shack friends, and then we became Facebook friends…which you know is the all-official sign of a true friendship. :)  Maybe it was our bonding over our love of big hair and loud hair accessories.  I must say, it’s nice to find someone in Trenton that can appreciate a big fascinator.  

After being (ahem!) rushed through lunch by my dear friend Crystal Rodgers, I went up to pay and got to chat with Mrs. Julie.  She had read the beginning of my post this morning where I referenced wedding planning…and she said something that rather blessed my heart. 

She said “I read your post this morning and I thought ‘What? Aleta is getting married?’”

My response was “Oh hell no, Mrs. Julie.”  Haha

She said “I thought “Someone must have swept Aleta off her feet.  He must be a really special guy.”

:)  That made me smile.  Yes, it will take a very special guy to sweep me off my feet.  Sadly, no.  I haven’t met Mr. Right just yet.  Or maybe I have and just don’t know it yet.  Still, I am hopeful.   

Over the years, I’ve watched others strike out in love and completely give up.  It’s sad…they become bitter…and don’t want to try any more.  Believe me, I know it’s an easy hole to fall into.  I have those days too.   However, I still feel like every experience molds us…shapes us into something that will one day be beneficial to the one we are meant for.  At least that’s my belief…

Marriage still scares the hell out of me…I’ll be honest.  It really does.  Commitment…Forever…Every time I hear those two words it kind of makes me want to run screaming for the hills.  Still, it’d be nice to meet my knight in shining armor instead of an idiot dressed in tin foil.

Sigh…it will happen eventually.

20 randoms

Lets pray I've counted right...lol.

1. I truly believe that I was a smoker in a past life. I will literally stand there and sniff someone who’s been smoking a cigar.

2. I have an unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson. There! I said it!

3. I used to be afraid of reading/watching something sad/sappy. Now, I’m beginning to think that I have a heart condition b/c my heart does spastic things when I watch/read them. No lie, it actually hurts. It's really weird.

4. My latest fascination has become collecting books. As we were talking one day at work, Chris made the comment “I need to build myself a bookshelf.” I said, “See, that’s where we differ…you’re thinking of making yourself a bookshelf, which is normal... and me, being neurotic, I’m considering buying myself a big a$$ safe for my books.” Have I mentioned that I tend to obsess about things?—Another addition to this, I’m a little crazy when it comes to how someone holds a book that they’re borrowing from me. Just ask my sister. She had a paperback of mine opened and laying face-down on the bed one day and I nearly flipped. Don't get me started on people who dog-ear books. Yes, I’m just a little crazy.

5. I was mighty proud when my Key Lime Trifle went for $250 at the FFA Cake Auction, recently.

6. I am becoming more and more forgetful. I can’t think of words sometimes. Like easy words…like “lane.” I was trying to describe something to a friend one day and I think I said something to the effect of “So we were driving in this…part of the road.” She was like “Do you mean ‘lane’?” “Yes,” I admitted embarrassed. Then, I was helping a customer one day, and was trying to write his receipt. I stared at what he was buying for way longer than I should’ve…just trying to remember what it was called. All I could come up with was “paper-clippy thing,” so I finally just left it blank. It was a clipboard. A. Clipboard. This would crack me up, but I’m afraid people are going to start thinking I’m on drugs.

7. My sense of smell is really heightened right now, and that is weird. Maybe it’s from being congested for the duration of about 2 weeks, and now, I’m finally able to breathe and smell again…I don’t know. But I smell EVERYTHING.

8. I had a really good start to my book…like 30-something pages, but after a few name changes, I’m at a complete loss. Which brings me to…

9. I am a very indecisive person. And it’s nerve-racking for people, I’m sure. This is why I never can decide what I want to do with my hair, this is why I can’t figure out what I want as my tattoo. I’m better when I don’t make a decision until the last minute. It’s impulsive, but I don’t have time to dwell on it and change my mind a million times.

10. I am currently on the search for a specific ring that I want. But I’ve “decided” (laughable) that I’m not going to buy one until I’m absolutely, positively sure that it’s the exact one that I want. So this might be a long venture.

11. In the last month, I’ve thought about running away at least 5 times. I know where I’d go, and that’s really no secret, but some days I feel like I might burst if I don’t get out of here.

12. The “I hates.” I hate…flowers. I hate having to repeat myself more than twice. I hate loud noises. I hate when people sneak up on me. I hate the Hallmark Channel. I hate cleaning. I hate (and sometimes love) how the smallest thing can trigger a memory.

13. I miss my dad…daily.

14. I have the strangest Thursday night show line-up. First, Project Runway. Then, Swamp People. Finally,... Jersey Shore.

15. I know I’ve said it a million times on fb. But I desperately want a Volvo. My mother doesn’t see it as necessity…and I balk at the idea of taking on another car payment right now. Plus…they don’t get great gas mileage…which makes me sad. Once you’ve become accustomed to getting 30+ mpg, is there really any way you can go back?

16. I hardly ever get online while I’m at home anymore.

17. I’ve never actually been in an accident that involved another “moving” car. I’ve hit several parked cars, I’ve almost driven off into a rock pit, and I nearly created a new drive-thru at the Chiefland Burger King (ahem! Steph Mackin), but never a moving vehicle. The latest parked car I hit was my sister’s truck (the first with my Mazda…the first in 5 years…that should say my driving is improving, right??). Scared the mess out of me. She handled it well. Especially considering I was so freaked out, when I showed her, I said something like “Ok, I hit your car. I’m sorry. It’s not so bad, though, right? (said waving my hands at the dent)” And then I pretty much ran to my car, got in, and started driving away as she stood there staring at her truck.

18. I worry daily about people that I cannot change; that I cannot fix.

19. It’s strange, I would’ve expected the opposite effect, but in the last year, I’ve become less compassionate, and a bit colder. It’s not that I don’t care, but I just have gotten to the point where I feel like people expect too much of me. A person can only give so much. To better explain this, I will say that I had a couple of people come to me with their problems after my dad passed away, and I simply wanted to shake them and say “it could be so much worse!” In my defense, my dad suffered quite a bit before he passed, pancreatic cancer is a horrible, horrible way to die, and having to witness that, I think it would’ve been impossible for me to stay the same person.

20. I think some of the most fun that I have is with my family. My mom is quiet but she is hilarious. And my sister…well, Rheba is an odd duck, and full of flair.

21. Every movie that I went to in 2011, I went to see more than once. Breaking Dawn...I went to see 3 times. lol