Dear Cupid, Please stay your diapered, arrow-shootin' butt away from me

Update—Krissy has been found. This, I can tell y’all, is an answer to prayers. Thank the Lord she’s ok. I am so happy about that. I will say this, though. She showed up at her boyfriend’s house. That is how they found her. It wasn’t the cops masterful investigative work. (Still rolling my eyes.)

Well, another Valentine’s Day has gone by. Thank God. I just want to say that I am thankful that it didn’t fall on a weekday. Even in high school, this was the WORST day to be single. It truly is “Single’s Awareness Day.” I have a new outlook on it now, though. It used to make me depressed b/c I was alone. Now, I just laugh at the idiots running around paying un-Godly amounts for flowers, saying “I love you” even if they don’t mean it, all because the world has become so commercialized. It really has become ridiculous. It seems that girls think that the more their boyfriend/husband buys them on Valentine’s Day is equivalent to how much they love them. Ludicrous I tell you. What is it about this holiday that makes girls go insane? Not that you will care, but here’s my stand on this. I SO have the mindset of a guy. If you want to impress me, buy me something practical…not something that will die in a few days (Btw, I HATE flowers). And heck, it doesn’t even have to be expensive or ON Valentine’s Day. That’s when the rest of the world is telling everyone that they should do it. No, impressive would be when he randomly does something nice b/c he thought of me on a day that is not nationally recognized as “the day of love.” Those are just my thoughts. But, who cares, right?

Anyways, the last two Valentine’s Days have really just been interesting. As you could tell last night, I spent most of the day passing out fliers and just trying to help Mrs. Treba and her family find Krissy. Well, that, and cussing everyone that had ever worked in law enforcement in Levy and Citrus County.

Last year truly was the Valentine’s Day from hell. Let me see if I can give y’all an accurate description. I almost wrecked the night before V-Day b/c 2 pills I had taken interacted negatively (and seriously impaired my driving); I had to go off my allergy meds so that I could take a scratch test (the following week); I got the flu; D. Ray was in the hospital in serious condition; and my great-grandma died. F-U-N, let me tell you. I spent the weekend in-between the couch blowing my nose non-stop, soaking in an oatmeal bath, and calling people (and driving them nuts) trying to find out the latest on D. Ray’s condition. The snot over-floweth, I scratched uncontrollably, and was anxiety-ridden to boot. Not fun. Where we would usually be with the family in the days before the funeral, my mom and I hung around the house as to not contaminate anything. We didn’t even make it to the viewing. Horrible, I know. Even at the funeral, we sat in the very back of the church, hoping not to give anyone the funk. I sat there, miserable, throughout the funeral. I tried not to cough, because if I had ever started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I tried not to blow my nose, because everyone knows that’s just gross.

Then, it happened. Now, before I go into this, let me tell you that I am one that will laugh at inappropriate things, at inappropriate times, and I just don’t care. I have no control over it (maybe it’s due to my complete lack of self-control?). As my mom and I were sitting there, praying for a quick funeral, Brother Greg got to talking about Granny Lois. He talked about how sweet and good she was. Then he said that she had just been crowned queen of the funeral home. Queen of the funeral home?? What the hell kind of funeral home did they have my granny in? I couldn’t even look at my mom. I immediately dug my fingernails into my hand (to the point of breaking skin). I was holding back the laughter so much it hurt. I nearly snort-snotted on myself. Poor Brother Gregg. We all mess up every once in a while. But that was hilarious. That was the topper to my hellacious 2008 Valentine’s Day/Weekend.