It's not court mandated!!!"

Well, guys, I should be studying right about now. My final semester at Saint Leo has arrived, and I technically should have my nose permanently attached to a book at this point. However, I do not. School started last Monday, and I have thought of everything but it for the last week. I’ve even tried osmosis…you know, where you lay the book on top of your head and pray that it sinks in…no such luck.

I cannot express how excited I will be when that final day comes, in May, and I can finally do the Praise-the-Lord,-I’m-through-with-college dance. And if I play my cards right this semester, I may actually graduate with a really high GPA. I don’t want to fill you in just yet…for fear I might jinx myself. Oh, and don’t get too impressed…my major is Psychology. My chunky butt has been drug through the ringer for the past FIVE years for degree that practically means nothing. Yeah, I have worked my butt off for NOTHING! (Please don’t let anyone you love get a Psych degree….it doesn’t mean a whole lot when you finally do get the degree…and you have to deal with a bunch of wack-a-dos while trying to obtain it. It just isn’t worth it.)

The one thing that I can say is, this experience has left me with quite a few memories. Some experiences were rewarding and some…well, …were just bizarre. I think that every college student deals with this…but with me being a psych major, I think that it was worsened.
One of my favorite teachers ever, was a spacey, older gentleman. He had worked as a psychologist in prisons, with attorneys examining a criminal before their trial, and also with children. Yeah, he had been around the block a few times. With all of the experiences he had under his belt, he was bound and determined for us to have some experiences while in his class, as well. One of these “experiences” that he desired for us, had me finding my local AA meeting one night for a lesson on group therapy. Now, before I get into this, nothing I tell of will reveal what all went on in the meeting...so don’t go thinkin’ I’m fixin’ to gossip about our local alcoholics. Because one, I didn’t wind up with the alcoholics, two, I was sworn to secrecy, and three, because I couldn’t really fathom all that I was taking part in . Well, to give y’all a bit of a visual on how utterly out of place I was…I had a tag on the front of my car that said “Milk sucks…got margaritas?” the night I drove up to the AA meeting. And could I park in a parking lot in front of the building so no one would see my tag?….nope. I had to park right in front of the doors, where everyone was having a smoke break before the session began. I should have thrown my car in reverse at this point and headed back to my house, b/c when I pulled up I had people pointing their fingers at my car and laughing… Oh, yeah, it only got worse. When I got out of my car, I had some of the AA participants tell me that they loved my tag, and that I was at the right place. I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and nodded. When I went inside the building, I somehow got separated from my cheerful alcoholics and got stuck with the Al-anon crew. The woman that was heading it up asked my name, and asked if I knew that I was in the Al-anon side. I shook my head and said “well, he said I could either go to AA, Al-anon, of NA.” (Really, looking back, I should’ve been more clear on who “he” was.) Her reply to me was “Well, honey, was it court mandated that you come? Because if so, you need to go to the other side.” O.M.G. So, I’m turning red at this point, b/c I’m a little embarrassed. After I straighten out the fact that it’s not court mandated that I attend, the woman then asks me if I had anyone close to me that was an alcoholic. I told her no, b/c I couldn’t think of anyone at that time…now, sadly I can name several. If y’all could have seen the look that woman gave me. For some reason, me not being able to think of someone, somehow made me look like a hoity-toity snob to her. Like I was looking down on the hardships she had had. What’s worse, is that by this point, others were coming in, so I was getting the stink-eye from more than just her. Uncomfortable. I just wanted to scream “I’m only here to observe…just don’t ask me anymore questions!” Then, as the session began…a girl (from the AA side—who was late) comes busting in the room saying (loudly) “Who’s blue car is that outside? Great tag. If you hadn’t been here though, I would have written a note saying ‘get you’re a$$ to AA’ and left it on your windshield.” So, then, every person in the room with me is giving me the stink-eye b/c I’m not taking this experience seriously. By the end of the night, I was desperately wishing that I had just went over to the AA side. Those were my kind of people. My observation of the night…group therapy is not for me (unless it’s anger management).

Well, I got in this teacher’s class again. And he again wanted us to go to 2 AA meetings and write a report. So, b/c I had very little faith that he actually read the first paper I had wrote, I just re-submitted it. Then, I fibbed a bit (Ok, a lot) on the other one. I don’t know what’s worse…having to go to AA or lying and saying that you went to AA when you didn’t. Hmmm…

The other trip that I had to make for a class was to go to Catholic Mass. My friend KW was supposed to go with me, but she was running late, so I just walked in and sat down. Before I knew it, Mass had started, and KW was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t think much about it.
Throughout the service, I learned that you have to have really good knees to be a Catholic. Kneeling to pray for long periods of time nearly had me rolling on the floor clutching my knee.
Towards the end of the service, they were taking communion. Well, me being the Baptist girl in the back, I didn’t want to partake (I thought I had heard somewhere that if you weren’t Catholic, you couldn’t partake of their communion…plus I didn’t know how to do that little sign thing that they do). Well, I tried to make a quick, unnoticeable exit. That failed. As I went towards the side door, against the traffic going to get communion, I hit the door with full force. Only to bounce back, because it was locked. –At this point, I had people staring--So, then, I tried to escape out the back. I had to skip by a man that was motioning for me to go towards the front. When I walked through the back doors, there sat all the Asians. Maybe the Asians are the equivalent of our back seat Baptists (which I am proudly a part of), b/c that’s mainly who was sitting in the back room. This was also where KW was. She had somehow walked in and been ushered to sit with the Asians. All of which is odd.

I guess Mass was a rewarding experience. In learning about a different denomination, I also learned to check door handles before you hit the door with full force.

Yes, College is crazy. Thank goodness my experience is coming to a close :)

BTW, I think I've got the funk....the flu...or something. I swear, I didn't feel the slightest bit sick until after I ate dinner. Now, the snot supply won't end...and I feel like I'm hacking up a lung. WTH? UGGGHHHH! Will it never end?? I blame the girl at the Crack Shack. Oh, I am SO making a voodoo doll with her name ALL over it!!!