Well, considering that my anxiety/depression medicine works really good, I haven’t wanted to fling myself off a cliff lately :) However, today was no-doubt the worst day I have had all year.
Let me paint a picture for y’all. I stayed up half the night worrying about a friend of mine. Do y’all ever get those overwhelmingly bad feelings?? Well, I had one last night. I couldn’t seem to shake it, and it kept me up really late last night. Before y’all go thinking I’m crazy…I do have reason to worry. But, I got up this morning and got ready for work in a zombie-like fashion. As I was getting to work, I got the worst news (not in relation to the friend previously mentioned… and no one died…so no worries on that front). I don’t really want to discuss the issue…but it’s just the kind of news that honestly just knocks the wind out of you. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t really talk….all I wanted to do was cry. I sat at my desk for a while “pretending” to work, while trying to stop shaking and tearing up. When that failed, I ran to my Hannie’s work…because I just needed that little reminder that things were going to be ok.
Truthfully, I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there for a while. I hurt. I’m exhausted. I guess it’s true about “when it rains, it pours.” It’s really frustrating…because I’m trying, really I am, to be a better person. And then all this mess gets brought up again.
I’m going to go to my friend’s play tonight, and try to take my mind off of the current situation. I guess I’ll try to fake it, and act like everything’s fine. The play will be wonderful, I’m sure. Krystle does an excellent job, and I’m sure that I’ll laugh and have a good time. For all of you that haven’t been. The Suwannee Valley Players are presenting “Into the Woods” all weekend. They do a great job…so you should check it out.
Thankfully, Little Miss Allie Claire is going to be gracing us with her presence tomorrow…I can’t wait for that. She sure does brighten the Journal up. I’m sure that’ll be the boost I need.