Sunday, March 29, 2009

"You jus' gotta have patience with the chilrens."

“You jus’ gotta have patience with the chilrens.” This is one piece of Madea advice that I cannot/will not head.

Every year when the Suwannee River Fair rolls around, I re-vow to never have children. Somehow, every year, I wind up sitting by the most annoying children in the tri-county area. Today, as I was trying to watch my sister in her steer showmanship class, three little girls kept fake-sneezing on me. Only after a few death glares and threats did they finally stop. I don’t care if they were “fake” sneezing…I still don’t want their spit on the back of my neck. Then, they started the oh-so-annoying game of hand-slapping. Where were their parents, I wonder…Probably at their house, or gallivanting around town, using the fair as a free baby-sitter. Ugh! Never, never will I have children.

We actually were supposed to have the steer showmanship last night. But due to the rain, wind, and nastiness, they cancelled it…after we had sat there for about 3 hours. But I digress. Anyways, during the 3 hours, I wound up sitting by a family of annoying heifers (whose name I shall not mention…I will only say that they are in the Journal a HECK of a lot with their steer pictures :). I wanted to shoot myself in the foot. They narrated all the showmanship classes. I wanted to turn around and say “I don’t care what you think!” Then, they kept inching their manure-clad boots towards my big Vera Bradley purse. THEN, they started discussing dieting and how one of them had stuck to eating only chicken for a whole year. She had tried to eat a hamburger recently and it didn’t even taste good. Can I just say here, that I desperately wanted to whip out a burger and fries and eat it in front of them?? I swear, they look like starving Ethiopians as it is. Their diet obsession is insane. I’m all for people losing weight for health purposes…but looking like a skeleton with skin just isn’t my cup of tea (as you could probably tell).


  1. Oooooh, but is it your cup of ice? :-)

  2. Hey girl I am sooooooooooo behind on reading blogs..but while it was on my mind thought I would let you know I set my blog to private (I think) ha and since you follow me I don't know if you need an invite or not to read or post on it. If you do my email is and I'll send you one. I'll post soon on some of yours, they look hysterical as usual..ha